Dentaltown March 2021 - 68

" This is a demanding
profession, and quite
frankly not all of us are
cut out for the job. "
This is a demanding profession, and quite
frankly not all of us are cut out for the job.
Unfortunately, many years of schooling and
often poor hands-on experience in school lead
few to have a good understanding on what
they blew hundreds of thousands of dollars of
the bank's money on. Add student loan debt
a few years later, coupled with practice loan
debt, and these poor anxiety-riddled souls
are wondering in their office as they waste
the next three hours because of a no-show,
whom they can thank for the woe they're
living in day in and day out.

Acting the part, but feeling false
I bring this up because I started as
an extremely passionate advocate of this
profession-often going on multiple dental
mission trips to work for free in sweaty
jungles and orphanages, all in the name of
doing some form of good. Over the years,
it started to occur to me that perhaps my
personality type was not suited for this, and
I noticed a slow and steady erosion of my
social skills and patience as I transformed
from a happy-go-lucky person to a darker
and jaded soul.
Now, my patients always benefited
from the best part of me, because I put on
a brave face and gave them the best of me
even as they lied to me about their oral
hygiene habits, while I smiled and nodded,
completely " ignoring " the can of Mountain
Dew they brought to their appointment.

68

The cost of that was a slow erosion of
my soul. I met some wonderful people, had
wonderful staff and some great patients, yet
deep inside was a sense of disenfranchisement
that couldn't be quelled. I gave my heart
and soul to the profession and yet I found
it hollow and unfulfilling, despite that
superficially I had achieved most levels of
success in terms of a steady happy patient
pool, a wonderful loyal staff and a beautiful
new clinic. Deep inside, though, I felt empty:
a former shell of that once bright, excited
young man who was overjoyed at opening
his acceptance letter to dental school.
After my cancer treatment in August 2019, I recovered like a champion through
sheer will and determination. I fought to
regain my abilities to speak, eat and chew
and came rushing back to work within six
weeks. What I learned the difficult way
after returning back to work was that even
though I had changed, nothing around me
had; my circumstances remained the same.
This meant the mental anguish that once
was palpable was now insufferable, because
my mind had not adjusted to the trauma
it had endured. What was even worse was
that in my mind, this trauma was unjust,
because I had no risk factor and like any
well-trained dental professional, I avoided
all of the known risk factors of oral cancer.
That felt almost ironic at this point: the
shoemaker whose own shoe was broken.
As I struggled through these mental
demons, I witnessed the world descend into
the beginnings of what would later evolve
into a worldwide pandemic. Somewhere
in the chaos of shutting down my clinic
and figuring out what to do with my staff
and patients and the clinic, I noticed a
swelling in my jaw on the same side I had
my surgery and neck dissection. Just a
week prior, my best friend and dentist had
performed some dental fillings, and after
the procedure my neck had swollen up. Not
to take anything lightly, I called my ENT
surgeon immediately to schedule a biopsy
and CT scans to confirm.

MARCH 2021 // dentaltown.com

DT0321_Dua_Leaving_MM.indd 68

2/18/21 4:58 PM
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Dentaltown March 2021

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