DentaltownUK October 2017 - 67

dentally incorrect

If Classifieds Were Written Honestly...
WANTED

Seeking nurse capable of
clearing up a dental tray that
looks like it has endured a
category 5 hurricane (and must
be able to do this in under 60
seconds). Should enjoy hearing
the same bad jokes every day, be
a fan of terrible karaoke, be able
to read minds, and must be able
to catch hurled instruments.

ASSOCIATE
Wanted for growing practice
run by a dentist who doesn't
enjoy RCT, extractions or
treating kids. Compensation
includes free use of dental
gloves (one per patient) and
use of small range of dental
equipment and materials.

FOR SALE
Weird gadget thing for sale
that was bought spontaneously
at a trade show after a heavy
night drinking.
Seller is uncertain as to
what it does exactly, but it has
never been used and the space
in the cupboard is now needed
for recent new purchase of a new
gadget thing.

WANTED
Looking for an office manager to
keep practice running under
'martial law' in order that owner
can continue in existential crisis.
Responsibilities include putting
out fires (often literally), staving off
mutiny, and leaving the owner alone
while he stands in back garden in
his socks staring blankly into the
middle distance quietly mumbling
incoherently.
Receptionist
required who
has little or
no fear, quick
reflexes and a
cold blooded
resolve. 999
operator
experience
mandatory
and either
time served
in prison or
special-forces
training
preferable.

Hygienist needed
to play key role
in ongoing office
drama. Incentives
and bonuses
included for
candidates who
have mastered
the art of passiveaggressive
commentary
during morning
huddles.

WANTED

New owner sought for established
practice .... dilapidated practice,
comes with approx. 500 mistrusting
patients, a disgruntled pack of nurses
and hygienists, and an associate turning
into dust and another currently under
investigation by the GDC. Current filing
system sorted autobiographically by the
retiring dentist, who promises to help you
transition but will probably just vanish
into thin air once you sign the final
paperwork.

FOR SALE

Practice for sale - includes five
large operatories, large private
office, staff break room with two
broken chairs, and plenty of parking
(for existing staff - no more space
available). Includes two hardworking team members and three
other people. Note: staff room has
hole punched in wall and a tearstained carpet. Fast broadband
however means dentaltown.com
loads at lightning speed!

ASSOCIATE FOR HIRE

Young dentist seeks associate position in city centre. Plans to woo your patients with
enthusiasm and youthful charm, dazzle them with an extensive CV of training courses, and
impress them with gizmos and gadgets. Would be prepared to sign contract stating that will
be happy to work for 60 percent, (with practice paying 100 percent lab fee) and will leave after
7 months to establish a new dental spa 'squat' across the road, taking many of your patients.

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dentaltownuk.com \\ OCTOBER 2017

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Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of DentaltownUK October 2017