Canadian Yachting October 2021 - 62

CROSSING THE LINE
THE VERY
OFF SEASON
By | John Morris
Y
ou're probably wondering how this winter is going to
work out. Yes, there are charter destinations available
and sunny climes with boats, but are we going to be able
to get there? If not, I have compiled a list of pastimes that will
keep you occupied during the season when you would be off on
a different boat adventure.
Knitting - Most boaters are not strangers to tangled lines, so
you already have a jump on knitting. The knitting needles are
like scaled down boat hooks only when you manipulate them
you get a nice sweater. As a bonus, that's signifi cantly more
appealing than the slime covered mooring line you snag with
your boat hook off the guano-covered tire at the marina.
Snow skiing - while some boaters are familiar with snow skiing,
for those who are not, it's basically water skiing with the
water frozen, which seems ridiculous. Just a note, you cannot
wear that fl ashy fuchsia bathing suit.
Philately - before email was invented, people used something
called " mail " , which involved writing on paper, placing it in an
envelope and sticking a " stamp " on it. These stamps often had a
royal portrait or, more excitingly, a boat like the Bluenose or Miss
Supertest. Some people, presumably with a lot of time on their
hands (that's now you in the off season, alas) collect them and
store them in albums in the basement. Taking those albums out
once a year is a delight for those collectors who actually enjoy
the kind of mildew odours your bilge so abundantly produces.
Perhaps you and fellow philatelists can happily share that scent.
Bird watching - you get to use your binoculars. Beyond
seagulls and cormorants, there are some other, smaller birds that
migrate much as boaters used to before border restrictions and
vaccine passports were conceived. Your foul weather gear will
also be useful since ornithologists often take pleasure standing
in a swamp in the rain. It will remind you of an early season line
squall.
Music - beyond the dock party and waterfront bar featuring
a Credence Clearwater or Jimmy Buffet cover band, there is a
world of other music. Concerts even.
Alternate eating - during the boating season you might easily
think that the world survives on beer and margueritas or possibly
other beverages with small paper umbrellas. Here's your chance
to explore blueberry basil kombucha, almond milk, oat milk, soy
milk, walnut milk and low-fat coconut milk. You might take a
look at kefi r. Yes, people drink that. There's a whole alternate
universe just a YETI mug away.
People to talk to - you have probably already fi gured out
that, oddly, some people are not boaters. What you may not
yet have learned is that some of them are very nice, interesting
individuals. They are easily engaged so you can discuss world
62 CANADIAN YACHTING | OCTOBER 2021
events (see Note 1) or their families (see Note 2) or even go to a
non-nautically themed restaurant and enjoy a dinner that is not
clam strips and fries.
Note 1: World events are largely non-boating-related occurrences
involving politics, health or other news. Most of this has
nothing to do with boats (surprisingly) but is often of national or
international importance.
Note 2: People who don't own boats nonetheless often have
relatives, children and even grandchildren. Since they are not
boaters, they cannot invite them for a day on the water, but they
do other less interesting things with them. Soon they will be planning
holiday festivities and even shopping for gifts like non-folding
bicycles or non-waterproof clothing. There are stores and
stores fi lled with this stuff. You can purchase gift dinnerware, or
even bathmats that have fl owers or spaniels adorning them rather
than anchors or signal fl ags. Who knew?
In summary, it's going to be a long winter, but by taking up
some other interests you will get through it. When you eventually
re-acquaint with your boating friends you can briefl y
describe the other things you did, apologize, and then get back
on the boat.
This winter, start a stamp collection. Two good ones is plenty!
Canadian Yachting October 2021

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