The Journal of College and University Student Housing - Volume 38, No. 2 & Volume 39, No. 1 - 136

Zak Foste • Keith Edwards • Tracy Davis

support that these students need (davis, 2002; davis & laker, 2004; laker & davis, 2011). seth began to engage in the process of questioning unrealistic expectations but was hindered by pressures for conformity, a setback that might have been prevented by the support of a housing professional with an understanding of college men’s identity. Housing professionals can provide the right kind of support to foster men’s learning—understanding that, while men are generally not comfortable with hegemonic masculinity, they perform this way because they believe most men support this construction of manhood (Berkowitz, 2011). Housing professionals are in an excellent position to help men realize a wide range of options to express their gender. this support may be especially helpful coming from other men. as davis and laker (2004) note, men’s inability to express themselves and to unpack their emotions serves as a major barrier in developing healthy identities. We need housing professionals who are cognizant of this fact and can implement it into practice. as davis (2002) explains, “the goal is to help students select for themselves who they are and who they want to become” (p. 519). a conversation of this nature could have been crucial for seth as he attempted to discover his true self. instead, he navigated this journey on his own. specific programs regarding the impact of media that create false expectations and promote mindless assimilation to damaging standards of masculinity can be routinely provided in the halls. We can’t, however, expect men to simply show up to programs or respond immediately to outreach efforts. as we saw with seth, men

often resort to silence, which can lead to depression (Kindlon & thompson, 2000). those who are in the most need of help may feel emasculated by their struggles and therefore be the least likely to ask for help out of fear of further losing status as a man. Professionals will need to be persistent and clear about what the masculine performance is and what the mask looks like when they approach male residents. davis (2002) recommends, for example, having oneon-one conversations with men where they are less likely to feel a need to put on the mask to perform for others. another strategy is to use activity-based or side-by-side communication to reach out to men. commitment to this type of practice means that housing professionals can consider men as gendered beings and challenge them to interrogate what they have learned about becoming a man. this subject is too often ignored. seth remarked toward the end of our time together how refreshing it was to have space to discuss his experiences as a man without fear of judgment or condemnation: never thought that i honestly would be able to talk about this or have the opportunity to talk about this topic with anyone. i learned a lot about myself and learned a lot about my past. and moving on from there and not going back there. edwards and Jones (2009) claim that the participants in their study also found the conversations about what it means to be a man valuable and wondered where else they could continue them. there are benefits for others as men explore their gender identity; as seth’s journey illustrates, self-reflection should lead to healthier relationships with male peers and women.

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The Journal of College and universiTy sTudenT housing

The Journal of College and University Student Housing - Volume 38, No. 2 & Volume 39, No. 1

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of The Journal of College and University Student Housing - Volume 38, No. 2 & Volume 39, No. 1