Clean Run - May 2020 - 48

5:35am

8:25am

Alarm goes off. Surprise!

Go check ring another time. This ring is taking forever. Go
sit on a bench for a while and just chill out. So much walking!

5:40am
Make the coffee feed the dogs put on the clothes. Many
years of practice has made this action possible in one runon sentence. Doesn't matter if clothes don't match or are
on backwards inside out. If you have two socks available,
life will go on. It's a dog show.

6:00am
Load dogs and stuff into the car. One dog is missing. Go
look under the covers. Back in bed! Turn on car, turn on
heater, then just drag him out and put him in a crate with
an extra soft blanket.

6:05am
Drive drive drive drive drive. Listen to a book. Listen to a
podcast. Listen to radio. Listen to anything but the news.
Stick with old skool punk rock.

7:00am
Stop at the Starbucks, you've
done this drive so many times
you know for a fact exactly how
many minutes it takes to get there
which is good since you really
have to pee and you can get a
Treat! Cappuccino for five bucks!
Fancy! You know why it's fancy?
Muthatrucking sugar! You should
enjoy this since you left your not
very delicious anyways lunch on
the kitchen counter. However, did
remember some string cheese for
dog treats.

7:45am
Arrive just in time to walk the course. Brrr. Wish you
had matching socks. Walk course. Randomly announce,
"Apocalypse is the new normal!" Nobody notices.
Course looks fine.

7:48am
Take the dogs out to pee. Walk some more. Lots of walking. Ceasement of walking could cause awful things. Stiff
legs. An E. Apocalypse. Keep walking.

8:30am
Go check ring again. Pretty close. Hang out a little closer
and time for dog tricks, the five-minute start-line routine
begins! This involves keeping dog calm while watching the
other dogs, doing cute tricks, tugging within reason but not
going too bonkers, laying down and whispering to her how
amazing she is but for her to keep laying down and use
her calmness. Continue game while creeping closer to the
in-gate before turn.

8:35am
First run of the day is finally here! Hooray! The moment
you've been waiting for all week, Dog Agility Weekend has
arrived and you're going to crush it! Enter the ring like you
own it. Unfortunately, no start line available today, make a
run for it and use that fabulous GO GO GO word heading for that first tunnel. Make a handling error at the wrap
before the dogwalk, cause dog to
crash a jump, smacking down the
bar super hard and smashing the
wing, try to finish Gamblers but
find yourself entirely too rattled
to go on due to the crash and
bail out, choking back tears.

8:36am
Check dog. She's fine.

8:37am
Cry while walking dog, decide
to quit agility forever because
you are a satanic dog crasher smasher and just go home
right now.

8:39am
Un-cry yourself because at this point in life, nothing that
happens a dog show should induce weeping. Decide to remove head from butt and maybe you could give it another
go and try not to be such a crummy handler.

8:40am

Go check ring. Not turn yet. Keep walking.

Walk some more. Dog will be fine if kept walking. Dog is
pretty happy to be on such a nice walk; she didn't seem
to mind the crash at all. Notice that nobody wants to
hear about the dramatic crash. Tuck that little note back
into self.

8:20am

9:20am

Go check ring again. Still not turn. Keep walking

Put dog away for a nap and buck up and head back into
the dog show.

8:15am

Clean Run | May 20

Clean Run - May 2020

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Clean Run - May 2020