Clean Run Magazine - June 2008 - 75

Words can be so powerful that they can affect the expectations of an upcoming experience, and even influence our perceptions of reality. For example, let’s say you are waiting for your turn and a competitor who has run the course says to you, “That was a tough course.” Though you initially thought the course was moderately difficult you may now perceive it to be harder than it is and begin to worry. Or suppose your dog runs off course and you say to yourself, “How humiliating—I’m sure other handlers must think I don’t know what I’m doing.” In actuality, other handlers don’t think that at all—they are too busy thinking about their own runs. The Dynamics of Negative Self-talk If your self-talk is mostly negative, then you are operating under fears, misconceptions, and misinformation. What you think and say sounds like the truth when it is paired with insecurity and low self-esteem, but actually it is distorted thinking, which makes it difficult or sometimes impossible to rationally think through a situation. The forms of negative self-talk include: u Catastrophizing: u Personalizing: u Filtering: You anticipate the worst; even the smallest glitch throws you into a tailspin. When a mistake occurs you pound yourself with blame, even if it is not your fault. The negative aspects of a situation are magnified, the positive ones are filtered out. In your mind it’s all bad. (rigid thinking): It’s either good or bad, with no room for middle ground. You’re either perfect or a failure. u Polarizing Negative self-talk is also exhausting and fatiguing. It’s like hitting yourself on the head over and over again. If your negativity is chronic, it will take the joy out of competing with your dog in agility. Positive self-talk, on the other hand, builds confidence, uplifts you, and makes you feel energized and content. Having a positive mental attitude, no matter what is happening on the course, is indispensable for success and happiness in agility competition and life in general. Turning on the Positives There are many methods for reducing negative self-talk and increasing positive thinking. They all have one thing in common: the necessity of daily practice. What you are looking for is not a surface change but an eventual emotional shift in your self-image. That takes work and time. The first step in change is to become aware of how often you say negative things about yourself, in agility or daily life, and then realize how it affects your behavior, decisions, and performance. Some ways to increase awareness are to write down the kinds of things you’ve said about yourself at the end of the day, how you felt when you said them, and how the negativity may have affected a situation. Be sure to date each page, so you can look back on how far you’ve come. Another idea is to be mindful of your internal dialogue, and when it turns negative, immediately say to yourself or out loud (if possible), “Stop!” Then repeat a positive statement to yourself. For example, if you say, “We always mess up the weaves,” instead say something like, “We’ve practiced hard and will do well.” If you don’t do well, then analyze the mistake to make positive changes in training instead of putting yourself down. Make a list of positive affirmations that contradict your negative self-talk. Recognize your strengths with these statements. Personalize them with words like “I, me, and my.” Keep statements in the present tense, for example, “I am….” Make them personal, short, and repeat them daily. It may be uncomfortable at first to say good things to yourself about yourself, but eventually you’ll replace your negative beliefs and will feel generally better about yourself. Stop using words such as “should, ought, must, never, always, impossible.” Eliminate negative phrases such as: “I’m stupid. I’m always wrong. I can’t handle this.” This is self-limiting demeaning language that will create stress and make you feel helpless and weak instead of capable and strong. You are able to handle and think through situations. Use positive language: “can, will, could,” and so on. Use affirming statements: “How can I handle this best? What changes can I make? We will master that closed tunnel. We will compete in Open. We will title and compete in Excellent. We will get a MACH.” Think of self-talk as an aspect of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think that your dog won’t “ever” run through that chute, he probably won’t (most of the time); or that your dog will “never” title and “never” get to the next level in agility, then you are setting up a blockade for yourself. Either you will fail completely or the task will seem herculean. But if you are convinced that your dog will run through that chute, he will, eventually. If you believe that you will title in Novice and will go on to compete in Open and Excellent, then you are sure to attain your goals. So, turn on the positives and talk your way up to the next level! D Diane Peters Mayer, M.S.W. is a psychotherapist and performance anxiety coach who has been practicing in Doylestown, PA, for 17 years. In 2000, she created a ring nerve program for competitive dog handlers and she presents seminars throughout the U.S. Her book, Conquering Ring Nerves, was published by Howell in 2004. The ring nerve program is for handlers; dogs are the beneficiaries. You can reach Diane through her website, www.conqueringringnerves.com. June 08 | Clean Run 77

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Clean Run Magazine - June 2008

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Clean Run Magazine - June 2008