Clean Run - October 2017 - 10

Throughout my time in the sport of dog agility, I have taken a passionate and competitive approach
to training and competing with my dogs. Lessons in mental attitude and mental game have since
followed, and continue to greet me at both expected and unexpected moments. Often these are lessons in failure,
frustration, success, mental toughness, and mental vulnerability.

Sense of Self
Letter to MySelf
By Tori Self

This is a letter to my 12-year-old self, to
be delivered just before she ventured into
the world of dog agility. Take it as you
will, no matter your age, no matter your
time in this sport. But especially to those
young or new handlers: as you go along,
remember that you need only try, try
again, and practice with as much love
in your heart as you can muster.
Dear Self,
You are twelve years old and your parents have finally caved and signed you
up for a dog agility lesson. This is only
the beginning.

Embrace Sport and
Challenge
Right now there are a few things you
know about yourself: 1) you are incredibly competitive; 2) you love dogs more
than people. What you do not yet know
is this: you have a drive to train and
compete well in anything you do, and
when you find something that you love
you will pursue it to the ends of the
earth. This is part of who you are. However, at this point in your life I know you
feel as though you've struggled with and
failed at any sport-like endeavor you
have taken on.
Please persist. Remember that sometimes challenge looks like learning
a new skill, other times it looks like
10

competition day, and still other times it
looks like another person.
You will have days of extreme frustration in your new game; for many years
you will consider yourself a broken dog
trainer. Do not align yourself with a
narrow skill set. It is imperative to your
growth as a handler, trainer, and person
to push the boundaries of learning and
to have confidence in your abilities. Absorb as much as you possibly can from
anyone and everyone around you. One
day you will discover new ways to speak
to your dogs, which will lead you to new
ways to speak to your fellow humans.
The joy you will find in training dogs
and training people will carry you into
a field of study you never knew existed.
Keep listening.
I think you think you already know how
to compete. You do not. Unfortunately
what you think of as competition is a
massive fear of failure and an uncontrollable urge to be right. This is going to
make big competition hard for you at
times. Heck, this is going to make small
competition hard for you at times. I am
unsure if we picked this up from a parent, relative, or simply bigger cultural
values, but you and I put a lot of pressure on ourselves to perform. Use this
to your advantage as much as is healthy,
then when it becomes a disadvantage,

release it. You will not always know
where that line falls, but never stop feeling for it.
I know that early on you will tell yourself that you only want to be your best,
that you have no interest in being the
best. I also know that you will be lying.
Understand that there is nothing wrong
with wanting to be the best, that this is
part of dreaming, visualizing, and manifesting, all things that play important
roles in experiencing life fully. But also
understand that the best is a self-made
illusion, one that looks different for
each person, with different parameters
and measures depending on the given
perspective. Beyond this, the reality is
that you will only ever be able to achieve
your best. However, avoid selling yourself short. Strive, strive, strive and never
stop going for the big stuff.
Also know this: if you listen to me and
keep your ears, mind, and heart open to
the resource that is other people, eventually it will feel as if these other people
have let you down. Eventually it will
feel as if a fellow human has betrayed
your trust or led you astray. It will be
your adversary, predictably. It will be
your friend, devastatingly. It will be your
hero, overwhelmingly.
You will cry, "not fair!" and look toward
the referee for a penalty call. There is
Clean Run | October 17

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Clean Run - October 2017