Clean Run Magazine - December 2007 - 13

Sometimes civility gets lost in the agility vortex. We don’t mean to be rude or impolite. With so much to think about, however, our focus prevents us from seeing how we and our dogs might annoy others. After a long day at a trial, even socially healthy dogs and perfectly nice handlers can sometimes react badly. It may feel pretty good to snub offenders or zap them with zingers. But, Jodi R.R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting in Marblehead, Massachusetts, says frankly, “Two rudes don’t make a right.” Potential pitfalls abound, so here are a few ways to tiptoe through the manners minefield. Keep asking questions. If the conversation goes well, delicately offer your ideas. “By the third or fourth comment,” Smith says, “I’ve checked with you verbally to see if you’re interested in having a conversation.” Should you find yourself the recipient of unwelcome advice, try these polite, but conversation-ending responses. Smith suggests: “That’s very interesting,” in a very flat tone of voice. “You don’t want to agree or disagree, which only prolongs a conversation you don’t want to have,” she says. The other option is to simply say, “Oh,” then change the subject. Essentially, Smith explains, “You acknowledge, then divert.” © CLEAN RUN Praise Sincerely Smith says to make praise of other handlers “straightforward and sincere.” Too often, a compliment comes with comparisons attached, like “You did so much better this time than last time.” Instead say, “You and your dog did a great job. You must be so proud.” How Rude! The Ins and Outs of Trial Etiquette By Roxanne Hawn Consider Others Some agility dogs are friendly. Some aren’t. Handlers with friendly dogs get annoyed with the grumps. Handlers with reactive dogs get annoyed with their congenial co-competitors. When accepting praise from someone, simply say, “Thank you,” or “That’s very kind.” Too often, we dissect our performance or say things that inadvertently insult the compliment giver. Your worst run ever may be that person’s dream run. Your “whatever” trial may be like nationals in the other person’s mind. “Especially for someone at a high level,” Smith explains, “saying ‘It wasn’t where it needed to be’ sounds fake, like you know you are so much better than they are and that you expect a higher level from yourself and your dogs than they could possibly hope to achieve.” Pamela Reid, Ph.D., CAAB, vice president for the ASPCA’s Animal Behav ior Center, is an agilit y competitor with both kinds of dogs. Based on her work as an applied animal behaviorist, Reid suggests assuming that all dogs need 3' to 4' of space. “For some reactive dogs that’s too close for them, but I think that’s a reasonable assumption,” Reid explains. “If I have a reactive dog, the onus is on me to make sure I’m proactive and make the space larger before anything happens.” Sometimes that requires asking another team to move away. The space bubble includes not just working space and boisterous greetings but also sneaky butt sniffing. It helps to have a dog-interaction cue so that your dog only approaches other dogs or people with permission, including off-leash areas outside. Space isn’t the only consideration. Noises, movement, and other things can set dogs off. For example, recently at a low-key, outdoor event I stayed way off to the side— clicking and treating my shy dog for any brave behavior. Another handler approached and asked me to stop clicking because her dog really hates the clicker noise. I switched to my marker word instead and everybody was happy. © CLEAN RUN Criticize Tactfully Before offering feedback to another handler, even if it’s to share a giggle about some mishap on course, stop—unless you know the person really well. Smith recommends setting up rules of engagement with your pals and instructors. Agree individually or as a group about when, how, and where critiques are welcome. Right after you step out of the ring, Smith says, “You’re probably not ready to hear it.” So, whether it’s 15 minutes or 2 days, make a pact about sharing feedback. If that feels too formal, then test the waters conversationally before offering your opinion. Start with questions, like “How do you think (dog) did?” Let the person answer. If she says something positive, don’t give negative feedback. If she offers her own critique, then ask another question, like “What do you think was different with that run compared to others?” Listen to her answer. December 07 | Clean Run In making such requests of other handlers, consider first that the person may not know their actions seem rude or troublesome. Then, Smith suggests tacking the phrase “I’m sure you understand” onto the end of your request, which she says “insists on an empathetic connection where one might not ordinarily exist.” 13

Clean Run Magazine - December 2007

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Clean Run Magazine - December 2007