Clean Run - December 2019 - 20

The Mean
Girl Might
be You
By Julie Bacon
The harshest critic, the most unkind person, the biggest
judge of our performance, lives in our own minds. We say
things to ourselves about ourselves that we would never
utter aloud, much less say to a dear friend. We rarely cut ourselves a break and hardly ever say encouraging things. It's no
wonder we get down on ourselves and our results.
It turns out there is a scientific reason that we put more
weight on the negative thoughts and actually seek them
out. From the time we started to walk upright, our brains
were wired to protect us from danger. Fear kept us safe
from all sorts of calamities. We evolved to focus more on the
negative because we didn't need to worry about positive or
safe thoughts. Got a sturdy cave? Cool, now let's worry about
what's for dinner.
It seems that parts of our brains are still pretty basic in this
regard. Think about how you prepare for a trial, starting with
packing and driving. Once the gas tank is full, you've gone
over your mental checklist to satisfaction, and you load the
dogs, then you stop worrying about those things. They are
taken care of. Instead, your mind moves to obsess about
what you might have forgotten or imagining what could
happen en route. It's almost as though once things move
into the positive category, we are free to fret. We are some
weird creatures!

FLIPPING THE SCRIPT
This ancient wiring is why we have to actually make ourselves be grateful (or focus on the positive) and learn to
catch our negative, fearful thoughts before they run the
show. When left unchecked, these negative thoughts erode
our confidence and put us at a disadvantage when we walk
to the line.
As with any desired change, the first step to managing your
inner critic is to raise your awareness and just notice when
the voices in your head turn negative. Even if you just hit

your toe on the crate or spilled your coffee, does the voice
in your head call you a klutz? Or an idiot? What do you tell
yourself after making a mistake in the ring? How is that running down the leash?
Now ask yourself if you would say these things to a friend?
Or to your childhood self? I'm guessing no. Likely you would
turn the conversation around to put a spotlight on the positive and all the things that went right instead of the one
thing that went wrong.
Knowing you are wired to focus on the mistake, the critique,
the negative, I get that it takes effort to turn the conversation around. What I always tell clients is that yes, you get a
few minutes to playback what went wrong, but only as long
as you can learn from it for the future. And after those literal
few minutes only, you must focus on what went well. After
all, what we focus on is what we create more of, so where do
you want to invest your thoughts?

DEALING WITH SETBACKS AND
DISAPPOINTMENTS
Of course, there are times where the disappointments are
bigger than others. The NQ that cost you the title or qualifying for nationals. And, sometimes, these moments can have
us reeling for weeks-if we let them.
One of the biggest characteristics that separate average
handlers (and athletes) from elite competitors is their perspective on failure. They don't see it as such. It's not failure;
it's feedback. Elite competitors are looking at the long game,
pushing themselves to learn from the experience and adjust their training or handling, so they don't make the same
error in the future. Great handlers rebound faster because
they know and accept that mistakes happen, and they aren't
wasting their brainpower on calling themselves names.
So, if you wouldn't say awful, hurtful things to your childhood
self, what instead would you say to your superhero self? D

Julie Bacon is a performance and mindset coach for handlers. She works with competitors at all levels who strive to improve their mental game and who realize the
importance of being able to perform under pressure. Julie has combined her experience in the competitive arena with her obsession with sports performance to create
The Q Coach through which she offers one-on-one coaching as well as online programs. Visit TheQCoach.com for more.
20

Clean Run | December 19

http://www.TheQCoach.com

Clean Run - December 2019

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Clean Run - December 2019