design:retail - November/December 2017 - 30

ask judy:

030

ADVICE FOR CREATIVES NAVIGATING THE WORKPLACE

JUDY BELL
FOUNDER
ENERGETIC RETAIL

I am passionate about the creative
work that I do and have developed
some unique skills. Are there other
ways to add value and distinction
to my role?

- Looking for More

Judy: Passion for your work and unique
skills is a winning combination in any career.
A third ingredient is to become known and
respected as a careful listener. The fine art of
listening involves everything from a thoughtful
and interested facial expression to a pleasant
tone of voice. Whatever you believe your current listening capacity is, consider that deep
listening is a complex activity, one that you can
spend the rest of your life fine-tuning.
Celeste Headlee, a long-time public radio
host, includes a chapter on listening in her
recent book, "We Need To Talk, How to Have
Conversations that Matter." She writes: "All
too often, our conversations are like the worst
kind of music concert. Imagine a violinist
playing one piece of music while the pianist
plays another. They can be friendly and watch
each other and nod all they want, but the end
result will be cacophony if they aren't on the
same page of music."
And why does this happen? Headlee goes
on to say that we are all wired to talk, and that
Harvard scientists found that talking about
ourselves activates the pleasure centers in our

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brains. These are the same places that light up
when eating dark chocolate salted truffles (or
whatever is nearest and dearest to your own
heart). Headlee's book is based on her highly
rated TED Talk: "10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation," which is well worth a listen.
So, what are some ways to polish your listening skills? Here are a few of my personal favorites to get you started:
1. Delete any distractions, including turning
your cell phone to mute. Tell your companion or group that you are doing this; it
will clearly let them know that the meeting is important to you.
2. Be mindful of your posture. Sit upright, but
with your shoulders relaxed. Taking a few
gentle breaths will facilitate relaxation.
3. Face your companion or group squarely
and make eye contact in a caring way.
4. Engage in the conversation by paraphrasing
(saying what you heard in your own words)
with "I heard you say..."
5. Encourage the conversation with words
like, "Tell me more about that."
6. Write down ideas that emerge. This physical action will confirm that you value
what others are saying and will likely inspire more ideas.
7. At the end of your meeting, recap action
steps and remember to say thank you!
Practice these behaviors with groups or oneon-one, even in your personal relationships,

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until they become routine for you. Consider
that the more you learn about others' ideas, the
more clearly you will understand their point-ofview. Understanding eliminates the possibility
of becoming judgemental, and keeps you open
to learning a new and expanded way to think
about a topic.
If you want to look more deeply into the art
of listening, you might enjoy "Seven Thousand
Ways to Listen." Author Mark Nepo writes: "I
believe the humble approach to a greater life
of listening begins with the acceptance that
we hear more together. Accepting this, we are
awakened to a committed interest in what each
of us knows and wonders about. This committed interest in each other and the life around us
is the basis of reverence."
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