GRAND Magazine - November/December 2008 - 22

Swell grandparent ad no bleed:Layout 1 8/22/08 10:14 AM Page 1 grand central ReadeRs wRite PREGNANCY GUIDE® Perfect Imperfection My granddaughter Cheya is 2. The birthday was a meaningful milestone: We had been told it wouldn’t happen. Even before Alisa became pregnant, I fantasized about the incredible child my daughter would one day produce. Alisa is an exotic blend of biracial beauty inside and out, but it has been her intellect that has won her accolades and a law degree. I would read to my grandchild, sing lullabies. Our eyes and hearts would connect. Any regrets I had about raising my four children would be corrected. After prolonged labor, Alisa gave birth by C-section. When I arrived at the hospital, my son-in-law looked gravely serious. “How’s the baby, and how’s Alisa?” The question was a formality; of course they were fine. Alisa had never smoked, was not a drug user, had never drunk to excess, ate well and had good prenatal care. I can’t recall my son-in-law’s exact response, but he managed to convey that the baby—a robust eight-pound girl—had been born with a cleft palate and malformed nose. She was in the NIC unit attached to tubes. An EMR had revealed that she was severely brain damaged. I burst into tears. A moment later, Alisa was wheeled out, her face an unreadable mask. At first, the doctors didn’t know if Cheya could see or hear, but she can do both. She doesn’t sit up, but she smiles, usually when she looks into her mother’s face. Physical therapists work with her. She’s had surgery on her mouth. She’s pretty—even though she still looks a bit alien. I see her often. I don’t compare Cheya to my three other grandchildren, one of whom is Cheya’s 6-week-old sister, Kellice. (I don’t even bother to have expectations for Kellice as I once did for Cheya. Whatever those expectations were, they aren’t important anymore.) I used to grieve for Cheya. Now, however, I’m heartened by her expressive eyes, eyes fringed with the blackest, most luxurious of lashes, eyes that are a shade of dark coffee like her mother’s. Cheya may not be able to communicate the way her mother did as a child—after all, she is not her mother—but what her eyes convey is no less important. She loves and knows that she is loved in return. That is enough. —Barbara Byrd GREAT F GRANDPAR OR ENTS TOO! PREGNA NCY GU IDE ® over2 local resour ces ON cord blNNY d oo banking for creatin g your dream nurser y see which products made our THE SKI 50 tips: Swell List www .sw ellp r egn anc y guid LOS ANGELES 8:2009 EDITION 200 e.co m get the skinny ON LOCAL PREGNANCY & PARENTING RESOURCES REQUEST YOUR FREE COPY ONLINE TODAY: www.swellpr egnancy guide.com Albuquerque • Atlanta • Austin • Baltimore • Boston • Charlotte • Chicago • Cincinnati Columbus • Dallas • Denver • Houston • Indianapolis • Inland Empire • Kansas City Las Vegas • Los Angeles • Miami • Minneapolis/St. Paul • Nashville • New York City Orange County • Orlando • Philadelphia • Phoenix • Portland • Sacramento San Antonio • San Diego • San Francisco • Seattle • St. Louis 22 GRAND NOVEMBER DECEMBER 2008 Please send photo submission as a 300 dpi jpg image to editor@ grandmagazine.com. Please include the child’s first name and home state, and your telephone number. JJ & Nathan, CA Nicholas, NJ

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GRAND Magazine - November/December 2008

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