Stephen: We see them all the time because we have a party place here at our home that has a swimming pool and a basketball court where they can go outside and play volleyball and things like this. GRAND: How do you organize your family time in order to foster these relationships? Stephen: We have a calendar and we do long-range planning of our vacations and of trips that we take together. Sandra: We have all these traditions; for instance, at Easter we have Easter races and scavenger hunts and egg rolls and a big family dinner, and on St. Patrick’s Day I always dressed up like a leprechaun. GRAND: Do you have any advice for new grandparents? Stephen: They really have to listen empathically—that means within the frame of reference of the child…. They need to really build their relationships so that the kids feel understood and accepted as they are. Sandra: Just because you’re their grandparents doesn’t mean they’ll love you automatically. You have to earn the love of every child. GRAND: Sandra, what do you feel is the most important role of a grandmother? Sandra: To really love and identify with every single grandchild and make a special effort. Like when the grandkids come to visit… I try to make contact with every single grandchild…rather than treating them as a group. GRAND: Is there one message that you’d like to convey to America’s grandparents? Stephen: I would like to see them develop a family mission statement that is basically focused on serving other people…as the best way to serve God and then have people accountable for that service, accountable to the entire family. Sandra: And I think that I would encourage the parents to always have dinner with their children…. That’s where you do your teaching and [share] your values. JULY AUG 2010 GRAND 23