GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013 - (Page 18-19)

love & marriage Falling in lust again Grandparenting can rekindle, or kill, the romance By shelA deAN Photo credIt: ©BleNd IMAGes llc w Shela Dean is a relationship coach, speaker, and the bestselling author of Frequent Foreplay Miles: Your Ticket to Total Intimacy and ReDate Your Mate: 4 Steps to Falling in Love All Over Again (Boomer Edition). 18 GRAND July AuGust 2013 hen I learned I was becoming a grandmother, I thought, OMG! Am I officially old? Must I wear sensible shoes? Will Dale start wearing tattered cardigans? Will we still be the other’s sex symbol? Like most long-married couples, we were settled into the routine of married life—content but drifting in somewhat oblivious inertia. Enter Addison and Kennedy, providing an unexpected lens through which to see each other anew. Watching Dale as a grandfather brings into crystal clarity what made me fall in love: his humor, imagination, kindness, and generous heart. Our grand girls adore him, and their adoration reminds me of why I, too, adore him. The girls bring out the best in both of us. Their innocence, curiosity, energy, and enthusiasm for life give us a more youthful perspective. We play, laugh, and do more. We’re more vital and, as a result, more frisky . . . if you know what I mean. I never imagined that becoming a grandparent would add spark in the bedroom. Happily, I still wear cute shoes. As for Dale, he’s still my sex symbol, but I took no chance and gave all his cardigans to Goodwill! Grandchildren can boost your marriage energy. However, it may not be enough. Divorce is epidemic among Boomers, but it isn’t the only answer. In one study, 80% of couples who described their marriage as very unhappy but had avoided divorce, five years later described their marriage as very happy. It wasn’t magic. It was work. The reasons to get married and the reasons to stay married are not necessarily the same. You can remodel your marriage into one that works for you. Like any remodeling project, you need a plan: 1. Identify what you like and wouldn’t change. 2. Identify what you’d like to change, and find agreement where you can. 3. Identify those areas in which you need help, and then get additional help. Be willing to take the first step of talking about your marriage. Things can’t get better unless you are willing to do so. Remodeling your marriage may not be easy or quick, but it’s worth it. click image to watch shela dean’s How Can I Fall Back in Love with My Husband? July AuGust 2013 GRAND 19

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013

GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013
Transforming Retirement
The Thrill Is Gone. Not.
Falling in Lust Again
Nana-to-Be Showers
Is Baby’s Wee Bed Safe?
When Harry Meets Baby
10 Steps to a Child-Proof House
Confessions of a Slightly Controlling, Madly in Love Nana
All About Baby!
Smart Ways to Save for Your Grandchildren’s College
The Low-Down on Five Stand-Out Vehicles
Let the Games Begin!
Hot Toys for Cool Kids!
Picking Berries with Granddad
Fun in the Sun!
Picking Up Where We Left Off
A Bond So Deep

GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013