GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013 - (Page 54-55)

grandparent rights Must Reading for Every GRANDparent Photo credIt: ©wIll selAruP Picking up where we left off reconnecting when a grandchild reappears in your life By susAN hoffMAN D ear Susan: After six years of no contact, our son called and asked to come for a visit. He and his wife arrived with two pre-teen strangers— reappearing in our lives as unexpectedly as they had disappeared. The parents have their nerve expecting us to carry on as if nothing happened! The estrangement began when our son and daughter-in-law moved out of state, cutting us off from our two grandkids with no explanation. Our calls and emails went unanswered. We sent cards for every occasion, but they were acknowledged. The only way my husband, Evan, and I got through was by attending the Lost Access support group. Being able to talk with other grandparents in similar situations and to learn coping strategies was invaluable. Now that they’re back in our lives again, I am having trouble holding in my pain and anger. Evan has let it go and is reconnecting by playing video games online with Jason and taking Stella shopping whenever he sees her. But I can’t seem to connect with either grandchild or to get over my anger toward my son and DIL. — Simmering Grandma Lynn Dear SGL: I understand your desire to discuss your feelings with your son and his 54 GRAND July AuGust 2013 wife. Bottled-up anger can stand in the way of moving forward. But venting your emotions puts you at risk of losing what you have. You are better off developing some coping strategies to deal with the anger. Once you let go of anger, it will be easier to build more positive relationships with your grandkids. Instead of focusing on those years you all missed, get to know who they are and what they like now, and help them get to know you. Rebuilding that connection will take time. Start by finding activities you can do together. The teen years are tough to begin with. Maybe you can help ease that transition for your grandkids and strengthen your bond with them by offering your unconditional love and support. susan hoffman is the author of A Precious Bond and the director of AfGGc, producers of A Precious Bond, the first documentary film about unreasonably denied grandparent visitation. Visit for more information or to order the film or book. Support Grandparents We offer FREE counseling to grandparents who are struggling to reconnect with their grandchildren. Help Grandchildren Grandparent involvement helps grandchildren to thrive and become well adjusted. DoNAtE For a $13.50 donation, we will send you a copy of our book Grand Wishes. July AuGust 2013 GRAND 55

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013

GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013
Transforming Retirement
The Thrill Is Gone. Not.
Falling in Lust Again
Nana-to-Be Showers
Is Baby’s Wee Bed Safe?
When Harry Meets Baby
10 Steps to a Child-Proof House
Confessions of a Slightly Controlling, Madly in Love Nana
All About Baby!
Smart Ways to Save for Your Grandchildren’s College
The Low-Down on Five Stand-Out Vehicles
Let the Games Begin!
Hot Toys for Cool Kids!
Picking Berries with Granddad
Fun in the Sun!
Picking Up Where We Left Off
A Bond So Deep

GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013