GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 14

holidays

Give a GRAND Gift

10 tips to create a peaceful holiday season
W
e all have holiday dreams. Mental pictures of the perfect gathering probably include delicious food, classy
decorations, gifts that make our children and grandchildren exclaim with joy, and time to relax and make memories.
However, excitement about celebrating the holidays is often
tempered by an underlying fear of "how will we ever survive
another family party?"
"The truth is, many families have meltdowns at this time of year,"
says Brent Pace, LCSW, of Salt Lake City. He and other experts offer the
following suggestions for keeping family relations on an even keel.

1. Keep expectations realistic.

"We need to realize that we are not here to try to outspend
each other or show each other our love through the gifts we

give," says Pace. "Particularly in consideration of the current financial crisis, rather than seeking the perfect meal [or]
the perfect outfit..., we can decide that our goal is to spend
time with the people that we love and enjoy each other's
company."

2. Take care of yourself first.

"Whatever it takes-a few minutes alone, a manicure, a walk,
a haircut, exercise with a friend, a bubble bath, or reading
a chapter or two of a good book-a few minutes to yourself
every day will make all the difference for everyone," says
Sherri Caldwell, founder of rebelhousewife.com.

3. Simplify your schedule.

"Drop all the to-do lists. Do half of what you anticipate you
are going to do," says Cheryl Wright, Ph.D., Chair, Family and
Consumer Studies, University of Utah. "Take time
to play those peek-a-boo games with your
grandchild and read simple picture books."

4. Set a positive
tone.

Offering compliments is a
great way to set the tone
for a family gathering, says
Pace. "Always look for the
positive." He adds that
humor is also a wonderful
tool to keep people at ease.
He also suggests reminding ourselves that a family
gathering is a rare occasion
14 GRAND

NOVEMBER DECEMBER 2017

and that "we chose to be here and that we want to be with our
family."

5. Avoid arguments.

Take the high road when the holidays bring people together who
are on different sides of the political aisle or have differing opinions
on child-rearing. "We don't have to go to every fight we're invited
to," says Pace. He suggests avoiding the words always, never and
ever. "These are fighting terms in relationships generally."

6. Offer yourself an escape.

Use the "buddy system" to ask your spouse or another family
member to help stave off potential arguments by facilitating
your escape. "If your buddy sees you are already in the middle
of an argument, they can use a code word or phrase, such as
'we left that package out in the car,'" says Pace. "Then you both
walk out to the car together."

7. Consider a shorter visit.

If you are planning to visit a family member and expect the
experience to be a little "risky" because of tension or conflict,
shorten the visit in advance, Pace advises. "Rather than going
to dinner together, say something to indicate that the available
time is limited, such as 'we have to be across town in an hour'
and offer to stop by for a few minutes. Keeping the visit shorter
instantly decreases the chance of a problem."

To see the rest of the tips,
click here.


http://www.grandsub.com https://www.facebook.com/GRANDmagazine/ https://www.twitter.com/grandMmagazine http://www.rebelhousewife.com http://www.grandmagazine.com/2011/11/no-more-holiday-meltdowns-10-tips-to-make-peace-with-the-holidays/

GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017

Contents
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 1
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 2
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 3
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - Contents
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 5
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GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 15A
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