GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 16

ask dr. gramma karen

Give a GRAND Gift

After I'm gone, take out the garbage

A
Must--‐Read
for
Grandparents

BY KAREN L. RANCOURT
"How often do you clean that?" asked my husband
Gary. He was referring to the air cooler that is unique
to vent-less clothes dryers, one of which we have in our
home.
"Why," I asked, "are you wondering how to clean it if
I die before you?"
"Well, yes," he replied, "I know how to clean the lint
filter, but I don't know what to do about that air cooler."
This exchange triggered a what-if-I-die-first conversation about how each of us needed to make a list of
our individual household responsibilities and how to
fulfill them so that the survivor could carry on after the
demise of the other.
Granted, this is not a particularly cheery topic, but
after 51 years of marriage, and having taken my own
advice about taking care of our legal matters to make
things easier for our family members after Gary and I
are both gone, this conversation was easy and comfortable for us.

This exchange triggered a
what-if-I-die-first conversation.

Statistically, Gary should predecease me by 5 to 10
years, according to the U.S. Department of Health and
Human Services, but we all know of cases where this
gender prediction didn't hold up. (If you want a quick
explanation on why women live longer than men, I suggest an article posted by the World Economic Forum.)
Like many couples, Gary and I have a division of
16 GRAND

NOVEMBER DECEMBER 2017

Look
Inside
"This
book...set
me
straight.
I
wasn't
sure
where
my
boundaries
were
as
a
grandma..."
labor. I take care of daily financial matters, taxes, and
household equipment. Gary takes care of all our technical/digital needs, our sports equipment, and portfolio
matters. We have detailed these tasks for each other.
A stroll though each room and our garage with pad
and pencil in hand helped us expand our lists of things
we do that the other is not aware of or simply doesn't
think about. For example, looking at the refrigerator
reminded me that I annually order and install the water
filter. Looking at the car reminded Gary to teach me
how to check the tire pressure and how to add air.
Our lists will no doubt change over time, but

meanwhile, we take comfort in planning ahead so that
life's inevitable transitions will be as smooth as possible
for each other and our family. This is a gift grandparents can easily and lovingly give each other.

"Karen
identiﬁes
the
cause
and
eﬀect
of
family
issues
in
plain
and
simple
language."
--‐
Amazon.com
Reviewers

Karen L. Rancourt, Ph.D., writes
an advice column for parents and
grandparents at Mommybites.com
and is the author of Ask Dr. Gramma
Karen, Volume II: Savvy Advice to
Help Soothe Parent-Grandparent
Conflicts.

Show me the book!

http://www.grandsub.com https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0994809700/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0994809700&linkId=c0cf2342749a51234e00421ef2df453e https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003B6QYSW/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B003B6QYSW&linkId=74a78ba0a510c9871c2e38f745d59213 https://www.amazon.com/Ask-Gramma-Karen-Vol-Parent-Grandparent/dp/0989627470/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr http://www.mommybites.com/col2/moms/get-your-affairs-in-order/ http://www.mommybites.com/col2/moms/get-your-affairs-in-order/ https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hus/hus16.pdf#014 http://www.askdrgrammakaren.com/ https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hus/hus16.pdf#014 http://www.mommybites.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Ask-Gramma-Karen-Vol-Parent-Grandparent/dp/0989627470/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr https://www.amazon.com/Ask-Gramma-Karen-Vol-Parent-Grandparent/dp/0989627470/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/03/why-do-women-live-longer-than-men https://www.amazon.com/Ask-Gramma-Karen-Vol-Parent-Grandparent/dp/0989627470/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr https://www.amazon.com/Ask-Gramma-Karen-Vol-Parent-Grandparent/dp/0989627470/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr

GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017