GRAND Magazine - May/June 2018 - 12

invisible grands

How to talk with children about sensitive issues
BY PAT HANSON, PH.D.

today has to offer, not what yesterday has stolen away."
And, I learned a great deal as well, as I had been previously
fairly unfamiliar with the concept of gender transitioning. Given
our cultural conditioning we all need to diminish negative
thoughts, hold the possibility for more acceptance, and look for
the connection between all of us, based in love.
It occurred to me that a great lesson for our grandkids is
this: "Differences of any kind are what make people interesting. We are all different from each other. We have to accept
people for who they are and make sure everyone feels
included. It is wrong to make people feel sad or left out
simply because they are different than you in any way."
While there is no one correct script for talking to your
g-kids about transgender or other sensitive issues, here
are some guidelines:

wo years ago I received a note from Mary
who, a few years before that, had shared a
personal story with my Invisible/Alienated
Grandparent support group (www.aga-fl.
org). She related how her spouse, Bob,
had transitioned to a female and become
Barbara. After that she had become
estranged from her daughter and had little
contact with her granddaughters.

She related how her
spouse, Bob, had
transitioned to a female
and become Barbara.

The note read, "I spent a weekend with
my daughter and younger granddaughter
last month. Seems like things are back on
track! Thanks for your help and support."
Through the support group, Mary had
discovered that mother-daughter issues were
more common than she imagined. She realized
she was not alone, and that even though her
situation with transgender issues was unique,
the pain of separation was quite common.
Over the years Mary offered rather profound quotes to other group members.
"If you don't leave your past in your past
... it will destroy your future." "Live for what
12 GRAND

MAY JUNE 2018

While there is no one correct
script for talking to children about
transgender or other sensitive
issues, here are some guidelines:

It occurred to me that a great
lesson for our grandkids is this:
"Differences of any kind are what
make people interesting..."

Click here to continue reading
Dr. Pat Hanson is a seasoned health educator, public
speaker, and workshop facilitator. She is the author
of Invisible Grandparenting: Leave A Legacy Of Love
Whether You Can Be There or Not. She lectures
nationally on Aging Positively and is a columnist for
the magazine: Crone: Women Coming of Age.

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GRAND Magazine - May/June 2018

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