GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 15

grandparenting

Deciding what kind of grandparent you will be
BY LINDA AND RICHARD EYRE

W

e have a blessing or a gift that no generation
of grandparents before us has had. It is the gift
of more time! We baby boomers (all 80 million
of us in the US-and most of us grandparents) will live on
average at least a decade longer than any other generation of grandparents in history. The question is, what are
we going to do with those extra years.
We have a lot of interests, passions, responsibilities
and priorities. We have our extended careers; we have
our sports and our friends and our hobbies and our travel
and our music and our other personal interests; we have
our finances and our investments; we have our causes, we
have our bucket lists, we have our cars and our boats and
toys, we have our politics and our clubs and our churches
and our other responsibilities. We have our siblings and
our extended families and some of us still have our own
ageing parents. And we have our children who, even as
adults, are still our children
But none of us, when we really sit down and think
about it, have anything quite as delightful and as joyful
as our grandchildren. They are our flesh and blood. They
are our pride and joy. And ultimately, they are our only
real legacy.

"

"

How grand is grandparenting?
About as grand as we make it!

How much of our time and our mental energy are we devoting
to those precious and perfect little kids who carry our name and
our genetics? And how deliberate and thoughtful are we about
15 GRAND

SEPTEMBER OCTOBER 2018

kind of grandparent will you be? And if we've been a
grandparent for a while now, but not yet made that
decision, now might be the time to make it.
There are several alternatives, and each comes with
a different attitude:

1

Disengaged Grandparenting.

Attitude: I raised my kids and now it's their turn to
raise their kids; I'm done.
This attitude might lead you to downsize into an
adults-only condo in Sun City by a golf course where
your days would be quiet but boring.

2

Limited Grandparenting.

Attitude: I love to see them but in limited doses
and on my terms.
In this model, grandkids are like amusement parks;
you go there once in a while to have fun. Or like dinner
guests; you have them over now and then when it's
convenient.

Richard and Linda Eyre

the time we spend with them, about what we can do for them,
about the relationship we want with them now and for the rest of
our lives?
How grand is grandparenting? About as grand as we make it!
We don't get a lot of training about how to be grandparents.
There is no owner's guide or instruction manual. (GRAND magazine may be the closest thing you can get.)
We all have a decision to make, a choice that will have big
and lasting consequences: We need to each ask ourselves; What

3

Supportive Grandparenting.

Attitude: My kids need all the help they can get with
their kids and I want to be there for them.
With this approach, you become part helper, part
martyr, sacrificing your own life to be at the beck and call
of your adult children whenever they "need" you to help with kids.

4

Proactive Grandparenting.

Attitude: My children are the stewards for their children, but
I can teach these grandkids things their parents can't and be an
essential part of an organized three generation family. And by
thinking about it-hard-and coming up with a strategy and a
plan, I can make a real difference in my grandkids lives, even as I
add joy to my own life and keep myself young.
Continued on next page


https://www.twitter.com/grandMmagazine https://www.facebook.com/GRANDmagazine/

GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018

Contents
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 1
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 2
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 3
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - Contents
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 5
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 6
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 7
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 8
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 9
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 10
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 11
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 12
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 13
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 14
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 15
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 16
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 17
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 18
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 19
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 20
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 21
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 22
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 23
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 24
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 25
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 26
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 27
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 28
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 29
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 30
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 31
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 32
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 33
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 34
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 35
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 36
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 37
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 38
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 39
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 40
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 41
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 42
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 43
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 44
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 45
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020fall
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020fall_v2
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020spring
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20191112
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190910
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190708
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190506
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190304
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190102
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20181112_drm
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20181112
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180910
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180708
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180506
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180304
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180102
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20171112
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170910
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170708
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170506
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170304
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170102
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20161112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20151112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/201401112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20131112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20121112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20111112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20101112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/201001_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200912_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200911_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200909_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200908_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200907_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200906_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200905_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20080910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200904_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200903_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200902_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20081112_v6
https://www.nxtbookmedia.com