GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 38

invisible grands

Appreciation: can't get enough of it
BY PAT HANSON, PH.D.

3

Acknowledge your quality to yourself by saying it: "I

illiam James, one of the founding fathers of Western
psychology, once wrote that "the deepest principle in
human nature is the craving to be appreciated." We
invisible grandparents, must remember to value ourselves and
validate others.

4

Soak it in. Giving each statement a good 5 -10 seconds or

W

"

"It is difficult for many of us to
receive appreciation. To be valued
and treasured is something we often
save for small children or pets."

"

Appreciation for our good qualities is really an expression
of gratitude for all who have shaped us as individuals. Selfappreciation humbly honors those who have helped us become
the person we are today. Celebrating our achievements is no
more self-centered than having compassion for our failings.
However, it is difficult for many of us to receive appreciation.
To be valued and treasured is something we often save for small
children or pets. For some of us even thinking about our positive
traits makes us uncomfortable. If that is so for you try these steps.

1

Think of one quality you appreciate about yourself.

2

Remember an experience where you noticed this good

Perhaps you are smart, funny, kind, curious or a good leader.
Take some time to focus on this one feature of you.

quality about yourself. What was happening, who was
there?
38 GRAND

SEPTEMBER OCTOBER 2018

am ________." Repeat the statement slowly, as if a friend were
saying it to you.

5

more really lets it in. Savor these moments.

Notice when your mind starts to wander. If this hap-

pens come back to the words and repeat your self-appreciation again, faking it gracefully if need be.
No matter how close or far we are from a situation of separation, remember to look for the next best thing. There is always
something to be grateful for. Sometimes merely giving thanks
for the mystery of it all brings everything and everyone closer.
Purposeful appreciation is a stepping stone to finding that unconditional self-love that exists within us even at the hardest times.
Self-appreciation is a two-way street. To seek others' goodness
without remembering our own, creates a false division between us
and them.

If you are an 'invisible" grandparent -
alienated or estranged from your children/
grandchildren, contact AGA Alienated
Grandparents of America here
Dr. Pat Hanson is a seasoned health educator,
public speaker, and workshop facilitator. She
is the author of Invisible Grandparenting:
Leave A Legacy Of Love Whether You Can Be
There or Not. She lectures nationally on Aging
Positively and is a columnist for the magazine:
Crone: Women Coming of Age.


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GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018

Contents
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 1
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 2
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 3
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - Contents
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 5
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 6
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