GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018 - 41

grand living

Without purpose, all of these
stressors may distract us and
take away from our ability to
navigate our lives.

Acting with a sense of purpose, on the other hand,
lights up these "deadened" areas of our brain in the
frontal lobe. It causes us to engage-to live the life
we've always dreamed of. It improves our brain function, memory, and logic. Purpose helps us avoid burnout, cope with stress, and utilize our resources (time,
money, energy) more efficiently. Those who have
discovered a strong sense of purpose have more joy,
greater optimism, and increased happiness.
We all set out wanting to become our best selves,
don't we? We all hope to live great lives. We want to
fulfill our potential. But then, life gets in the way. We hit
bumps in the road. We face challenges. We get busy.
We may experience relationship struggles with our
spouse or family. We may even face situations out of
our control-illness, natural disasters, changes in the
economy.
Without purpose, all of these stressors may distract
us and take away from our ability to navigate our lives.
We fall into patterns and follow routines. It may feel
as though life is simply happening to us, rather than
something we're intentionally creating for ourselves.
We slip into lobotomized-mode. We get tired, burnt
out, exhausted. We're on autopilot.
Then we secure our lobotomized state by numbing ourselves with our soft addictions - TV's, Netflix,
Starbucks, watching sports, shopping. Believe it or not,
this meandering through life actually eats up years
of time. When we look back on our lives and think,

"
"

"
41 GRAND

"Where did the time go?" the answer is somewhat
surprising:
* People spend an average of 12 hours per day in
front of screens (both computers and TV's). In the U.S.,
we spend on average of 5 hours a day watching television. This means that by the time we're 60, we may
have spent 9 years watching the tube!
* Similarly, studies have shown in the U.S. we
spend on average 6 hours per week shopping and only
40 minutes per week with our kids.
This isn't to mention the time we spend zoned out
and disconnected, going through the same routines
over and over.
It's no wonder time seems to fly by!

SEPTEMBER OCTOBER 2018

The truth is, it's much easier
to think of ways to be healthy
in the future than it is to
manage our mood and
satisfaction in the moment.

The ancient Greeks had a word, Akrasia, that
referred to acting in a way counter to our best interest
and judgement. It's hard to stay attuned and "checked
in" all the time, and we all do things that aren't good
for us like procrastinating, zoning out, avoidance, and
distraction. We settle for temporary satisfaction like the
thrill of scrolling through social media, filling up our
shopping bag, or eating another slice of pizza.
The truth is, it's much easier to think of ways to be
healthy in the future than it is to manage our mood and
satisfaction in the moment. This is why we think we'll start
our diet tomorrow or begin a project next weekend.

Many of us fall into a pattern that's comfortable, but
not satisfying. We settle for what's easy, rather than
taking on actions to learn and grow. Growth is sometimes hard, even painful, but within each of us is the
ability to push ourselves and develop into what we
refer to as our next, most radiant self.

What living a life of purpose
means

Purpose doesn't come from perfection, but from living
our lives in a meaningful way. It's about extracting
meaning from each moment. As we've discussed in the
past, vacationing with a sense of purpose helps our
trips feel longer, more fulfilling, and more satisfying.
Conversations with our grandchildren that are purpose-driven lead us to meaningful topics and build our
connections.
We can't extract our singular sense of purpose from
our relationships, however. We can't expect our relationships to make us happy, or our identity as grandparents to provide our sole source of meaning. Rather
than living through the lives of others, it's important we
learn to live full, vibrant, meaningful lives for ourselves.

Click here to continue reading

Relationships experts, world-class
coaches, and best-selling authors,
Dr. Judith and Dr. Bob Wright
are co-founders of the Wright
Foundation for the Realization of
Human Potential and The Wright
Graduate University and authors of
The Heart of the Fight

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0994809700/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0994809700&linkId=c0cf2342749a51234e00421ef2df453e https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003B6QYSW/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B003B6QYSW&linkId=74a78ba0a510c9871c2e38f745d59213 http://www.heartofthefight.com/ http://www.grandmagazine.com/2018/04/fun-filled-and-full-filled-vacations/ http://www.grandmagazine.com/2018/04/fun-filled-and-full-filled-vacations/ http://www.grandmagazine.com/2016/08/rules-engagement-develop-grand-relationships-kids-grandkids/ http://www.grandmagazine.com/2016/08/rules-engagement-develop-grand-relationships-kids-grandkids/ http://www.grandmagazine.com/2018/08/living-a-life-of-purpose-the-fountain-of-youth/ http://www.thewrightfoundation.org/ http://www.thewrightfoundation.org/ http://www.thewrightfoundation.org/ http://www.heartofthefight.com/

GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - September/October 2018