GRAND Magazine - November/December 2018 Subscribe Today! - 39

grand living

To relate to young students,
we must embrace our own
studies as students of life. We
must earn the right to engage
with them.

At some point every grandparent has asked themselves, is my help even wanted by my kids and
grandkids?
The hard-yet-simple truth is that our grandparent
"helper" role has changed. We're not in charge of rescuing or even advising our adult children and grandchildren. In fact, many times well-intentioned help is
disempowering for adult children and grandchildren.
Instead, it's important to ask ourselves what our kids
and grandkids really want. At the end of the day, their
desires are the same human desires we all share: to be
known, to be appreciated, and to be affirmed.
If your grandkids are starting to study history (as
was the case with our client's grandson), how do you
relate to them? How do you follow them as they learn
and grow? How do you keep yourself abreast of new
technologies and studies?

Earning the right to engage

You have a purpose in the lives of your grandchildren:
to provide continuity, wisdom, and care. Yet, this role is
an active role. We can't rest on our laurels and expect
to exist as a fountain of evergreen knowledge unless
we're truly learning and growing ourselves. To relate to
young students, we must embrace our own studies as
students of life. We must earn the right to engage with
them.
39 GRAND

NOVEMBER DECEMBER 2018

This concept of "earning the right" may sound
When we engage in discussions with our grandkids,
strange, but when we step back and put ourselves in
we should ask intelligent questions about how they're
their shoes, it becomes clear: giving unsolicited advice
thinking, what they're doing, and topics relevant to
them. How are their relationships? What do they think to someone when you don't know them is absurd.
of their studies at school? And yes, how are they thinking about topics like drugs and sex? If your grandClick here to continue reading
kids don't want to talk to you about these topics, it's
important to explore why they wouldn't want to-are
you too uptight? Judgmental? Opinionated? Are you
threatened by the conversation?
Relationships experts, world-class
coaches, and best-selling authors,
Remember, a conversation is relevant to your grandDr. Judith and Dr. Bob Wright
kids as they think about their lives, not as you think
are co-founders of the Wright
about their lives. Can you earn the right to bring what
Foundation for the Realization of
you know into the discussions you hold with your
Human Potential and The Wright
Graduate University and authors of
grandchildren?
The Heart of the Fight

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