GRAND Magazine - January/February 2019 - 29

legacy

Three more ways to clear the mist,
aka turn off auto-pilot.
1. Learn, do, say something new.

Anyone can change at any time, simply by saying I'm going to
do something different today. Try something new. Learn something new. Ask your family members a brand-new question. Start
a conversation you've never had before. Share a secret about you,
and learn something new about them, too.

2. Leave your baggage at the door.

Don't be stopped by "I tried that." Focus on the here and now.
Leave out words like "always" and "never," as in "you always do
this" or you "never do that." Stick to people's actions and words
in the present, without attributing meaning or emotions from the
past.

3. Voice your need and offering of unconditional love.

Don't be afraid to tell your adult children or adult grandchildren that you love them and want to relate to them as adults. And
don't be afraid to admit you were wrong (without adding "I was
just trying to do what I thought was best for you.") Be vulnerable
and admit: "I love you and need your love, too".

Change is liberating, at any age

It's liberating for people to make change. When we demystify
our approach to family, we conscientiously look at family members for who they are and where they are now. And for us grandparents, I challenge us to shake things up and let people know
that we are alive and vibrant.
The year-end holiday season may be over, but we don't need
to wait for next year to connect. Thankfully technology allows
that all the time. Text each other, send video, schedule a skype or
Facetime call. Or send an "old-fashioned" letter.
Ask your family HOW they are. Surprise them with WHO you
are, and be not mystified, but mesmerized, in return.
29 GRAND

JANUARY FEBRUARY 2019

There's major transformation that can
happen here. And you don't even need a
lot to time to train or prepare. This power is
already inside of you.

Jerry Witkovsky, author of
The Grandest Love is a longtime social work professional,
grandparenting activist, and
passionate grandpa. Jerry
offers fresh approaches to
help grandparents enter
their grandchild's world, to leave values, not just
valuables and create a living legacy. Jerry created the
Grandparent-Grandchild Connection School Program
and curricula with Deanna Shoss, President & CEO of
Intercultural Talk, Inc., in 2016, to work with schools as
the platform to teach grandparents and grandchildren
how to enter each other's world. Learn more here


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GRAND Magazine - January/February 2019

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