GRAND Magazine - March/April 2019 - 26

grandfamilies

Self-care for grandfamilies
BY DIANE ROZNOWSKI

ecause my grandson was in so much pain
after my daughter left him, all my focus was
on helping him. I never had the chance to
heal from my own loss, even though she was still alive"
Jan Wagner, Grandparent Caregiver
When Jan started raising her grandson, she focused
her energy on making sure he was safe and well cared
for. She knew he was in pain and needed her to heal. She
didn't question putting her grandson's needs first but
doing so meant she didn't get the chance to heal herself.
This story is all too common among grandfamily caregivers. More than 2.6 million children are being raised in
the United States by grandparents, other relatives and
close family friends with no parent in the household.
These "grandfamilies" are families in which relatives or
close family friends step up to raise children unexpectedly because their parents cannot. While the reasons
grandfamilies come together differ, one thing typically
remains the same, children suffer loss and trauma from
being removed or separated from their parents. It is not
uncommon for these children to experience trauma prior
to the trauma of leaving their homes. Grandfamily caregivers put
the needs of the child before their own, but often this comes with a
price.

Caregiving is demanding and can
be extremely stressful. It can take
an emotional and physical toll
on the caregiver.

26 GRAND

MARCH APRIL 2019

your needs and taking steps to meet them. It is similar
to the oxygen mask on an airplane, you have to put
yours on first to help others. Practicing self-care allows
caregivers to meet their own needs so they can best
meet the needs of the child they are raising.

Tips for practicing self-care:

* Think about your physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs.
* Identify where your personal stress comes from
and determine if there are any stressors you can cut
out or cut back on.
* Communicate effectively when talking about
your needs with others, if you are asking for help be
clear in doing so. Try to not minimize your request by
adding phrases like "if you can."
* Be open to trying different forms of self-care to
find what works best for you.

By neglecting their own needs, their caregiving can be negatively impacted. Caregiving is demanding and can be extremely
stressful. It can take an emotional and physical toll on the caregiver. By practicing self-care, caregivers can make sure their
physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs are met, but
many caregivers don't know where to start when it comes to
self-care.
Self-care is often misunderstood. Caregivers worry that they
are being selfish by taking care of themselves, but self-care is not
selfish. It is necessary especially when you are dealing with stress
and changed circumstances. Self-care, simply put, is identifying

Continue reading and
for examples of self-care
Diane Roznowski is the Policy and Program Coordinator
at Generations United. She received her BA from
American University in Communication, Legal Institutions,
Economics, and Government. During her time at
American, she completed various internships including
ones at the Addiction Policy Forum and the office of
Senator Bob Casey. Diane brings personal experience to
this issue as a proud member of a grandfamily.

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GRAND Magazine - March/April 2019

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