GRAND Magazine - March/April 2019 - 32

grand living
My father wrote boxes of love letters
to my mother. He was a real love-letter
kind of guy. He and my mother corresponded back and forth during WWII
before and after they married. They
would write letters about their future
together, and they would discuss what
had gone on in their past. Most importantly, they discussed the vision they
had for whom they wanted to become.
You see, my mother had come
from a not-so-great family. She had a
needy mother and an abusive father.
Throughout the letters she related her
desire to avoid becoming like her parents. She discussed the type of parent
she would rather become instead.
Years later, looking back at these
treasured letters, it struck me what a gift
they truly are. In the letters, I see the areas my mother
and father were focused on for their lives-not only the
romance and love between them, but what they truly
wanted to bring forth in their eventual marriage and
parenting, and why. In one particular series of letters,
my mother reveals her hesitancy to tell my father that
yet again, her mother has attempted suicide. As I review
them and share them with Judith, I also have questions I
wish I'd asked while they were still with me.
Through these familial artifacts, we learn a great
deal about the sacrifices and chosen paths of our parents and how they shaped their parenting style. Why
did they choose their profession? What were their
visions for parenting?
As we pass on our stories, our hopes, and our
vision to the generations, we share the intent of getting to know each other better. At the same time, it's
32 GRAND

MARCH APRIL 2019

all get together, they never actually do
anything to engage with each other. It's
as though her mom is seeking symbolic
togetherness in a familiar structure, but
she doesn't want to use the opportunity
to really connect with her children. She is
matching a one-dimensional picture of a
family in her mind.

important we study and explore the legacy passed on
to us and pass it forward. This means talking to our
adult kids and grandkids and listening to them as well.

Build new family traditions
through vacation

Now, you certainly don't need to go on a road trip
to share and get to know each other better, but travel
does offer an opportunity to get away and relax. The
important key is to make your travel or vacation purposeful. Use it as an opportunity for building family
traditions and becoming more connected. Don't simply
spend time together; be intentional and get to know
them and yourself even better.
One of our students told us her mom always wants
to bring the family together over the holidays, during
Spring break and over the Summer. Yet, once they

My fondest memories
of family include taking
road trips. My father
was totally engaged
with the countryside
as we were driving and
strongly encouraged us
to stay present and aware of
the sights as well. Comic books
and toys weren't allowed, but
observation was encouraged.

Click here to continue reading

Relationships experts, world-class
coaches, and best-selling authors,
Dr. Judith and Dr. Bob Wright
are co-founders of the Wright
Foundation for the Realization of
Human Potential and The Wright
Graduate University and authors of
The Heart of the Fight

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0994809700/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0994809700&linkId=c0cf2342749a51234e00421ef2df453e https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003B6QYSW/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B003B6QYSW&linkId=74a78ba0a510c9871c2e38f745d59213 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01K16KA9I/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B01K16KA9I&linkId=9a10be6309243e9fa5b6201b7208fa81 https://www.grandmagazine.com/2019/02/build-and-share-your-legacy-now/ https://wrightfoundation.org/ https://wrightfoundation.org/ https://wrightfoundation.org/ http://www.heartofthefight.com/

GRAND Magazine - March/April 2019

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - March/April 2019