GRAND Magazine - July/August 2019 - 23

grandparenting
The original test was given to four dozen families in
the NYC area in the summer of 2001. They compared
results with several psychological tests that the
children took and then reached their intriguing
conclusion: "The more children knew about their
family's history, the stronger their sense of control
over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and
the more successfully they believed their family
functioned."
Then Mr. Feiler says, "An unexpected thing
happened. Two months later was September 11,
2001. All those families experienced the same horrific
terrorist attack!" The researchers went back to the
same children and found that the ones who knew
more about their families handled the stress of that
event better. "They were more resilient in processing
the effects of the stress created by that event."

So, it is knowing where they came
from that can give our grandkids
resilience and grit!

One night while putting our ten-year-old twin
grandsons, Oliver and Silas to bed, I (Linda) told
them the story about their great-great-grandmother
Ida. in 1920, the horrific Spanish influenza had found
its way to Star Valley, Wyoming. Ida Weber, who had
ten beautiful children was stricken and died at age
39, along with her little two-and-a-half-year-old and
eight-month-old sons. The family was devasted! But
the older children, including my mother (their greatgrandma Hazel) and her sisters and brothers rallied
23 GRAND

JULY-AUG 2019

around their father in helping with the younger
children and their large farm. In the end those hard
times taught them great life lessons. The six sisters
all became remarkable teachers and the two brothers
became successful famers and business leaders. All
lived joyful lives.

Instead of getting out your
grandchildren's favorite books at
bedtime, start telling
them your stories...

The twins were impressed by this incredible story!
Grandma Ida was one of those ancestors on their
"ancestor wall" in their home which their mother
had lovingly created a year before. They had been
walking by her picture all that time, knowing only
vaguely who she was or what had happened to her.
Now they knew!
Not all our stories have happy endings. They are
"osculating stories" that teach the realities of
good times and hard times, and they teach
valuable lessons about the importance of
decision and choices. In doing genealogical
research, Richard and I have realized that
there is much more to these people than their
birth date and death date. The "dash" between
those two dates contains invaluable stories for
our children and grandchildren to internalize-and
they can make our children and grandchildren more
resilient, more self-confident and give them more
grit as they tackle their own hard times!

So, grandparents: instead of getting out your
grandchildren's favorite books at bedtime, start
telling them your stories, your parent's stories and
stories about their own parents while they were
growing up. Tell them at bedtime or at the dinner
table or during road trips. If they live far away, email
them a story or tell them a story on the phone.
Tell them about good things that have happened
as well as the hard things. It will help with the "I
want everything" syndrome and it will become the
foundation on which they can build some true grit!
*The Entitlement Trap by Richard and
Linda Eyre, Penguin Books, 2011

Richard and Linda Eyre's parenting and lifebalance books have reached millions and been
translated into a dozen languages. As fellow Baby
Boomers, their passion and their writing focus has now shifted
to the joy of Grandparenting. Linda's latest book is Grandmothering,
Richard's is Being a Proactive grandfather, and their latest co-authored
book is Life in Full. All three of these are now on sale on Amazon.

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GRAND Magazine - July/August 2019

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - July/August 2019