GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 29

invisible grands
G refers to gay, and improperly is thought of
by many as only male homosexuals. It is often
used pejoratively to refer to a range of typically
feminine behaviors.
B has been used to refer to 'bi-sexuals' or persons whose sexual preference can go either way.
T is a term for those who identify as
transgender and whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their
birth sex. Estimates range from .03% to .06% of
Americas are transgender; that translates to 1.4
million people. Today these folks can take hormones, cross dress and even surgically undergo
procedures to live the life they desire.
Q for queer is a term for anyone falling under
any of the aforementioned categories. It is an
inclusive identity that gay and lesbian individuals
have taken back so they could remove the negativity from the word and use it to say they are
proud.
I refers to Intersex, what in the past was used to refer to hermaphrodites, persons born with both male and female sex organs and hormones.
A is used for people who by choice or chance choose to avoid sex and its
expression completely. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others or
desire for sexual activity.
So how do we watch our language in these days of increasing attention to a
large portion of our society? First, we must learn not to make assumptions about a
person's gender, sexual identity, or sexual expression. The concept of gender fluidity is now touted because changes in self-identified categories can occur over
time.
If you're not sure what pronouns to use, ask. Different non-binary people
may use different pronouns. Many non-binary people use "they" while others use
"he" or "she," and still others use other pronouns.
29 GRAND

SEPT-OCT 2019

"If you discover children of any
age using offensive, dismissive,
and judgemental terms,
they must be cautioned to stop."

Depending on the age and maturity of our
adult children and grandchildren or even greatgrandchildren we should answer questions
honestly even with statements such as 'I
don't know, let's find the answer together."
Next we must teach the terms not to use
such as 'faggot' or 'dyke' or 'trannie.' If you discover children of any age using offensive, dismissive, and judgmental terms, they must be
cautioned to stop, to empathize with how other's feelings can be hurt, even to the point that
41% of transgenders have considered suicide, and countless lives have been lost.
It is vital for us to tap into our heads and our hearts with compassion, seeking liberation from rigid definitions and labels that do not serve anyone.
And finally, we must ask ourselves 'What has love got to do with it?' If that
means the connections between people at home and in their communities, my
answer is 'everything.' The language of love and trust is universal and needs to be
part of the conversation.
Dr. Pat Hanson is a seasoned health educator, public
speaker. workshop facilitator and novice comedienne. She
is the author of Invisible Grandparenting: Leave a Legacy
of Love whether You Can be There or Not and In Search of
Stillness: My Final Frontier.
www.invisiblegrandparent.com
Facebook.com/Patricia Hanson
Facebook.com/Stillness: My Final Frontier
Facebook.com/Invisible Grandparent

https://www.facebook.com/GRANDmagazine/ https://www.twitter.com/grandMmagazine https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07G54W54J/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B07G54W54J&linkId=077aff1b16fe1237e1f04e5322c472c0 http://www.invisiblegrandparent.com http://www.Facebook.com/Patricia http://www.Facebook.com/Stillness http://www.Facebook.com/Invisible

GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019