GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 8
grandparenting
A five-facet review of your grandkids
BY LINDA AND RICHARD EYRE
I
f you're an average baby boomer,
standards-how much financial help
you will be a parent for sixty-plus
they'll get, what responsibilities they'll
years of your life, and only about
take, and what conditions they have to
twenty of those years will be spent
parenting your kids while they live
with you. You'll spend two-thirds of
your parenthood as an empty-nest
parent, and much of that time you will
also be a grandparent.
There are two perfectly predictable
ways to fail at empty-nest parenting
and at grandparenting, and, frighteningly, most of us are headed directly
for one or the other. Ironically, they are the exact opposite of each other-yet each
is a virtual guarantee of the deterioration of our relationships with our grown children and grandkids
One way to fail is to abdicate-to simply quit parenting once your kids leave
home, and to leave the grandkids entirely to their parents. This option, obviously,
eliminates any meaningful role you would play as a grandparent, and you will fail
by default.
The other way to fail is to arbitrarily lay down a pattern or set of
8 GRAND
SEPT-OCT 2019
meet-all without the input or agree-
"
ment of your parent-children.
Remember that when your
children marry, they're not
just under a different roof;
they're part of a whole
new and different family
of their own.
"
Most grandparents don't pursue either of these extremes intentionally or
directly, but most of us seem to gravitate gradually toward one or the other-to
abdicate or to arbitrate. What is needed instead is a carefully planned and commu-
nicated middle course involving a well-discussed and agreed-upon strategy of how
the relationship, the independence, and the assistance will evolve as your children
leave your house and have children of their own.
Remember that when your children marry, they're not just under a different
roof; they're part of a whole new and different family of their own.
https://www.facebook.com/GRANDmagazine/
https://www.twitter.com/grandMmagazine
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019
Contents
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 1
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 2
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 3
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - Contents
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 5
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 6
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 7
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 8
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 9
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 10
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 11
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 12
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 13
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 14
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 15
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 16
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 17
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 18
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 19
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 20
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 21
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 22
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 23
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 24
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 25
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 26
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 27
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 28
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 29
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 30
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 31
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 32
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 33
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 34
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 35
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 36
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 37
GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 38
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2024spring
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2024winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2023fall
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2023summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2023winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2022fall
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2022summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2022spring
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2022winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2021fall
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2021summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2021spring
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2021winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020fall
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020fall_v2
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020spring
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20191112
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190910
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190708
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190506
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190304
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190102
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20181112_drm
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20181112
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180910
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180708
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180506
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180304
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180102
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20171112
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170910
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170708
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170506
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170304
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170102
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20161112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20151112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/201401112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20131112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20121112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20111112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20101112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/201001_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200912_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200911_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200909_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200908_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200907_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200906_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200905_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20080910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200904_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200903_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200902_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20081112_v6
https://www.nxtbookmedia.com