GRAND Magazine - November/December 2019 - 32

legacy
grandchild or child visits, that is the
biggest gift ever.

What's my big idea? For each of my
children and grandchildren to individually pick a month to visit. That means
visits for me to look forward to ten
months of the year...the two big ones
plus eight more. And for family, that's
one visit a year for each of them.

Mindshift: from "coping"
to "sharing my world".

How Grandparents
end up alone.

We're so proud when our grandchildren get accepted to the college of their
choice-no matter that it's away from
home. Exciting new jobs lure family
members to new cities.
My family is an example of that. We
are spread across the country, with
my daughter in California, my son in
Wisconsin and grandchildren sprinkled
from New York to Las Vegas.
Loss also contributes. After more than 50 years of
marriage, I lost my wife to cancer in 2003. But after
living my entire life in Chicago, this is my home. My
friends are here. I have a significant other here. My
history is here. I meet the guys every Friday for breakfast. I "gotta guy" to call for plumbing, computers,
everything I need. Moving to a new city at my age
would be even more isolating because I would lose all
those years of connections.

There are plenty of articles about things parents can
do to make each child feel special. And one of those
things is to give them individual attention...one-onone time. So I thought, that's a great idea
for grandpa!

Making it affordable

Now that I'm older and my grandchildren are mostly young adults, they may
feel like they need to take care of me.
But if I were able, I would be jumping
on the plane for a spontaneous weekHow about
end getaway to visit them in a hearta little one-on-one time?
beat. I will gladly buy a plane ticket
The idea comes from parents with multiple children. for them to visit, because when a
32 GRAND

Nov-Dec 2019

I used to think of this as a solution
for "coping" with being on my own.
How do I manage to age in place?
But the idea of coping assumes a view
through a negative lens, from a place
of deficit. Now I say, "come get a peek
into my vibrant world!"
At 90 (or 60 or 70 or 80) we have
years of experience. We've gained a
lifetime of skills and talents. Give me
one weekend and I will show you.
Walks in the Botanic Garden.
Lectures at Northwestern University.
Lively discussions about ideas over
breakfast. Arts and museums. Come to Chicago.
Please come enter my world and share your world
with me.
Jerry Witkovsky, Author of The
Grandest Love and a longtime social work professional,
grandparenting activist,
and passionate grandpa,
author Jerry Witkovsky offers
fresh approaches to help
grandparents enter their
grandchild's world, to leave values, not just valuables
and create a living legacy. Jerry shares more about
the Grandparent-Grandchild Connection School
Program and encourages grandparents to unleash
their creativity and unique gifts to transform their
family at www.grandparentsunleashed.com.

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GRAND Magazine - November/December 2019

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - November/December 2019