GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020 - 23

grandparenting
7. Parents can set up an earning-based Family Economy
where kids have chores or responsibilities and have a
weekly "payday" for those tasks rather than an allowance
day; and where there is an interest-paying Family Bank
where kids can save and grow their earned money. They can
then buy the things they want and thus perceive ownership
which is the p
prerequisite
to responsibility
q
p
y and the antidote
to entitlement.
What can grandparents do about entitlement?
Remember that your children play the
main role in teaching your grandkids, but
you should be in the running for best
supporting actor. Here are four things
you can do:
First, consider giving your children-withchildren (the parents of your grandchildren)
a copy of The Entitlement Trap (or have
them review https://valuesparenting.com/
the-happy-family/family-infrastructure/
family-economy/) and encourage them
to set up an "earning family economy"
with chores and a Family Bank and a weekly
"payday" instead of allowances. Sweeten the
deal by matching any money they put
into their family bank. In this way, you
will become a partner in a system
that fights entitlement attitudes and
begins the process of independencegaining for your grandkids.
Second, stop giving your grandkids so much. And start finding ways
for them to earn some things for
themselves. This can range from tasks
you pay them to do around your house
23 GRAND

FALL 2020

to bonuses or incentives for good grades or memorizing
certain things or whatever you think will benefit them while
giving them the feeling that they have earned money rather
than just having it handed to them. (We understand that
is the prerogative of all grandparents to spoil their grandkids a bit. And we agree with that little indulgence, particularlyy for p
preschool g
grandkids. But once theyy get to be
six or seven, remember that everything you giv
give them can
advance a counterproductive entitlement attitu
attitude that you
don't ever want to be a part of.)
Third, work with the parents in setting up a Family
Bank and a chore and payday system. Offer to put up
the money to get the Bank started, and if th
they are disB
inclined or too busy, set up a Grandparents Bank
that
helps grandchildren learn about meeting goals, saving,
Th monthly
and even earning compound interest. The
interest calculation will be a way to have a regular
conversation each month with each gra
grandchild who
has an account in the bank. Give each grandchild
a checkbook (you probably have old o
ones you can
use) so that they can put money in the bank with a
deposit slip and take it out by writing a ch
check. Tell the
them that the bank also offers short consulting
budgeti which
sessions on saving and budgeting,
will show them how to plan w
what they
ear As their
do with the money they earn.
recom
financial consultant, recommend
that
they always save 20 perc
percent of anything they earn and that they also
take out 10 percent to d
donate to
a church or charity or o
other cause
that they choose. Consider
Cons
setting up a separate "college
"colle savings
account" in the Grandparents
Grandpar
Bank

for each grandchild. In this special account, the money they
put in is earmarked for college and can't be taken out until
then-but it pays a much higher interest rate of, say, 10
percent per quarter.
Fourth, set up a system of matching grants to give extra
incentive to grandkids. With or without the Grandparents
Bank, consider establishing a Grandparents' Matching Fund,
as you are able, to which grandkids can apply when they are
trying to save up for higher ticket items like camps or other
opportunities. Explain that you, as their financial consultant
and advisor, would like to help in those situations-not by
giving money, but by supplying a 1:1 match for the money
the child has been able to earn or come up with on his or
her own.
Think of this whole process as an opportunity to reverse
what has come to be thought of as the usual role of grandparents-namely to spoil, entitle, and unreasonably enable
their grandkids. Instead of giving them too much and
releasing them from responsibility, we can help them to
find the initiative and motivation to set their own goals and
find their own way-we can teach them to earn and do for
themselves-and what could be a greater contribution than
that?
Richard and Linda Eyre's parenting and lifebalance books have reached millions and been
translated into a dozen languages. As fellow
Baby Boomers, their passion
and their writing focus has
now shifted to the joy of
Grandparenting. Linda's latest
book is Grandmothering,
Richard's is Being a Proactive
grandfather, and their latest
co-authored book is Life in
Full. All three of these are
now on sale on Amazon.

GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020