GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020 - 24

legacy

Who do you surround yourself with?
BY JERRY WITKOVSKY

respectful and kind to one another. Trusting
and being trustworthy. And not feeling
like you always must prove yourself to one
another.
We have many relationships in our lives.
Some are out of obligation: Family, neighbors, people we interact with daily. But
we also have an opportunity to "curate" a
vibrant circle of friends out of the relationships we build.

hy did it happen, Deanna?"
I recently asked my friend
and colleague. I'm 92 and
she's 53 (or at least that's what I said, and
she didn't correct me.) We've known each
other and have been working together
for only five years. During that time we
have come to have deep respect for each
other's strengths and accept each other's
limitations. We each work alone; in that
we don't work for the same company.
We are independent, although I have
hired her firm to work with me. There is
no stress in our working relationship and
that's key. Stress can encumber the freedom to create and grow.

Shared ideas.
Shared interests.

So today I will write. I will create,
and I will make new friends
and continue to grow.

And that had me thinking about two things. One,
the nature of friendship, and two, how as aging adults
we can structure our lives to continue to contribute
and be creative across our lifespan. Some are taken
aback when I say, "don't die until you're dead." But I
mean it. The time will come but it didn't come today.
24 GRAND

FALL 2020

So today I will write. I will create, and I will make new
friends and continue to grow.

Finding someone who believes in
your dreams

This feels like a question one might ask when looking for a life partner or spouse but is wonderful and
life affirming when applied to all the people you surround yourself with: How do you connect with people
who make you even better? Some of the qualities for
that include not trying to outdo each other, being

For me, that comes from sharing ideas.
With Deanna, we both believe in the work
we do with the family and with the role of
grandparents in the family. And that's something that
we both care about. We have a shared creative process, where 1 + 1 always equals 100. That's achieved
by giving time and space to each share ideas and trust
that we can discuss them and come up with solutions
together.
Listening, learning to disagree, or agreeing to disagree, taking time out to reflect, and then coming
back, focusing to really hear what the other is saying...
those are the seeds of mutual respect.
Continued on next page

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GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020