GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020 - 6
relationships
How would you handle it?
BY BARBARA GREENLEAF
I
n the three years I was writing the blog on which I based my latest book,
Parents of Adult Children: You Are Not Alone, I received many comments
about the thorny issues that arise in modern-day grandparenting. We all have
a very idealized image in our heads of how blissfully we'll cruise into the future
with the younger family, but sometimes it's not smooth sailing. To help grandparents clarify their own thinking, I created a series of Dear Abbey-like scenarios and asked four-person panels to say how the older generation should react.
After you've read the set-ups and opinions in the following two scenarios, ask
yourself, "What would I do in a similar situation?"
To go or not to go?
Walter is a widower whose grown daughter, Dawn, and son-in-law, Mike,
think they're cheering him up by inviting him to every school play, soccer
match, and tap dance recital in which his grandchildren take part. This is not
Walter's idea of a big time, but he doesn't want to hurt Dawn and Mike's
feelings.
* Should Walter go whenever he's invited?
* Should he decline selectively and gracefully?
* Or should he proclaim a blanket policy of not attending any kiddie
activities?
The panel weighs in
George: Today, grandparents are expected to attend every one of their
grandchildren's events. Even though Walter feels he paid his dues with his own
kids, he has to suck it up and show up for his grandkids.
Marco: I think Walter can bow out of some events in which his grandchildren
have bit parts. He could play the "elderly" card.
6 GRAND
FALL 2020
Continued on next page
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GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020
Contents
GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020 - 1
GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020 - 2
GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020 - 3
GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020 - Contents
GRAND Magazine - Fall 2020 - 5
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