GRAND Magazine - Summer 2020 - 25

legacy
I HONOR MARGARET WITH A STRONG, CLOSE
FAMILY, AND BY ENGAGING WITH THE WORLD.

what she taught...you don't get angry because you
lose; You keep going-sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. She made me look at problem-solving
differently.

What is not empty is the contribution Margaret
and I made to each other in life, in love, creativity, and
passion (both literal and figurative), and our comWE BUILT A LIFE TOGETHER.
mitment to each other. I realize that I can still create
ideas and help people grow in service to themselves
I think of our early years together, when our chiland their families. Right now 45 grandparents are
dren were young. That taught me so much about
participating in a story writing program I created with give
and take in relationships and honoring
JCC Chicago. I wrote the book The
each other's dream. I worked four nights a
Grandest Love.
week at the Max Strauss Center in Albany
In fact, I started
Park, the job that launched my path to
the book right after
running Camp Chi and ultimately leadMargaret died in 2003.
ing JCC Chicago. I only made $2,800 a
It was therapeutic-I
year. Rather than complaining-Margaret
used writing and writknew camping was my dream-she got
ing the book to proa job as a secretary in the mornings to
cess my grief and put
help. We were a great tag team. When
words around legacy
she got home from work at noon, the
and how you're rememkids were clean and had eaten lunch-
bered. While the book
fried fish was my specialty. There was a
helps teach grandparquick pass-off as I flew out the door
ents how to create their
and headed north from our
own legacy, it has a lot
tiny two-bedroom townto do with remembering
house in Jeffrey Manor to
her.
get to my work, not getting
From Margaret, I
back home again until after
learned creativity. She
10.
was full of desire to paint
We built a life of exciteand make quilts and teach
ment, wonder, and creativity
games to the kids and
together, enjoying each othgrandkids. I saw how and
er's intellect. And, we didn't
25 GRAND

Summer 2020

"poo-poo" or weren't critical of each other. We tried
to teach each other what life looked like from our
own perspective. We invited each other to come
inside and understand and appreciate it.
Even in her physical absence, she is still part of
me-the lessons we learned from each other, the
family we built together.
AND THAT'S WHAT POWERS ME NOW.
I have come to accept the fact that I can still create
and grow on a powerful level. I can feel the sadness,
of the empty chair at the kitchen table, the empty
passenger seat in the car, and the empty side of the
bed. Rather than getting stuck in the sadness you can
choose to reflect on the strengths and on what you
still have. Life is worth living. You can still contribute
to yourself and others.
And I know that Margaret is in my heart, cheering
me, urging me to go on.
Jerry Witkovsky, Author of The
Grandest Love and a longtime social work professional,
grandparenting activist,
and passionate grandpa,
author Jerry Witkovsky
offers fresh approaches to
help grandparents enter
their grandchild's world,
to leave values, not just valuables and create
a living legacy. Jerry shares more about the
Grandparent-Grandchild Connection School
Program and encourages grandparents to
unleash their creativity and unique gifts to
transform their family at
www.grandparentsunleashed.com.

https://www.amazon.com/Good-Be-Grand-Making-Grandchild%C2%92s/dp/1942952325 http:// https://www.amazon.com/Good-Be-Grand-Making-Grandchild%C2%92s/dp/1942952325 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/153715253X/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=153715253X&linkId=d197415a0180ad369bda8297122d3661 https://www.grandparentsunleashed.com/ http://www.grandparentsunleashed.com

GRAND Magazine - Summer 2020

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Summer 2020