GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 14

ask dr. gramma karen
2. RELATIONSHIPS WERE DAMAGED /
TERMINATED.
" I had this client. I hated going to his house
because he had a big Trump 2020 flag at
1. EXISTING RELATIONSHIPS WERE
his front door, and he was always criticizing
MAINTAINED / STRENGTHENED.
liberal thinking and ethnic groups. I finally
" Covid-19 has indeed produced some posidecided to 'fire' him as a client and quit. I
tive benefits from both a personal and familial
simply had enough.
perspective.
I did the right thing and do not regret it. I
My adult daughter has been living at home
am polite to my friends who are politically difwith my wife and me. She realizes now that
ferent from me, but there is a divide, and it is
she can work from home (and tolerate her
not a subject I care to debate with them. "
parents!) while not paying rent and saving a
ton. No need to run to New York City and rent
3. CERTAIN TOPICS WERE DECLARED
on a shoestring budget. So, this little financial
OFF LIMITS TO PRESERVE
acumen will hopefully go a long way.
RELATIONSHIPS.
With my wife, my daughter, and me all
" My brother and I have always disagreed
working from home brings back the old days
about a lot of things, mostly politics. We
of eating at home, conversing with each
are known for going at it, and until recently
other in person, preparing dinners and cleanother family members would just ignore
ing up together, eating some ice cream and
us. However, over the past four years our
watching TV and laughing together - it used
exchanges have become even louder and
to be " All in The Family " or " The Jeffersons "
longer and meaner.
with tin foil and rabbit ears. Now, for my wife
My wife and 10-year-old daughter told
and daughter it's " Impractical Jokers " and
me that I was changing into a scary person
" Bachelor " on Netflix. They're having lots of
during these arguments with my brother. They
fun together.
sent an email to me and my brother asking
Also, we have been skiing a bit out West as
us to stop. Knowing that we were scaring my
a family: renting places in Utah and Colorado
daughter with these conversations convinced
and working from there and social distancing
my brother and me to call a truce on any dison the ski slopes. We never would have been
cussion about politics, which we've done.
able to do that with my two grown kids were
Since then, I've noticed that we are arguing
it not for this coronavirus. "
less about other things as well. I don't need to

Here is an example response
for each category.

14 GRAND

Spring 2021

win arguments with my brother (which I never
really won anyway) if I am scaring my daughter in the process. "
4. RECONNECTIONS AND
NEW FRIENDSHIPS DEVELOPED.
" Before COVID-19, my wife and I were
talking about separating. We were always
angry with each other, always arguing. We
knew this wasn't healthy for our two young
daughters.
Being isolated as a family because of the
pandemic was eye opening for both of us.
Because I was working from home, my wife
gained an appreciation for the pressures I
was dealing with on a daily basis in my work.
(I manage a group of 25 in a customer call
center.) My phone never stopped ringing, and
our fax machine was printing non-stop with
things I had to deal with. I was so busy that
my wife started helping me when the girls
were napping or were in bed at night.

Click here to continue reading

Karen L. Rancourt, Ph.D., writes
an advice column for parents and
grandparents at Mommybites.com.
Her most recent book is, It's All
About Relationships: New Ways to
Make Them Healthy and Fulfilling,
at Home and at Work.

A	
  Must--‐Read	
  for	
  
A Must Read for
Grandparents
Everyone!

Look	
  Inside
" This	
  book...set	
  me	
  
straight.	
  I	
  wasn't	
  sure	
  
This
book
the
where	
  
mtakes
y	
  boundaries	
  
uncertainty
thorniwere	
  as	
  a	
  gand
randma... "
ness out of relationships.

No
more ibeing
confused,
" Karen	
  
dentifies	
  
the	
  
or
unsure
about
what
cause	
  
and	
  
effect	
  
of	
   to
do,
oftenissues	
  
doingin	
  
somefamily	
  
plain	
  
thing
makes
a relaand	
  sthat
imple	
  
language. "
tionship
even worse!
--‐	
  Amazon.com	
  Reviewers

Show me the book!


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GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021

Contents
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - Cover1
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 2
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 3
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - Contents
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 5
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 6
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 7
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 8
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 9
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 10
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 10B
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 10C
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 10D
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 11
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 12
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 13
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 14
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GRAND Magazine - Spring 2021 - 33
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