GRAND Magazine - Summer 2021 - 8

relationships
13 steps to keep from being fooled again!
A
BY LINDA K. STROH, PH.D.
I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now
on I can't believe you ~~Friedrich Nietzsche
ren't we lucky that so many heroes have shown
up lately? You know, those people who just
do the right thing whether it benefits them or
not-those around-the-clock doctors and nurses, first
responders, grocery clerks, teachers...the list goes on.
I bet you have some of these heroic people in your
life-I know I do. But, unfortunately, not everyone
reacts or behaves in heroic ways, and, unfortunately,
sometimes we have to live or work with people we
can't really trust.
"
" ...successful people, in both their
work and personal lives, carve
untrustworthy people out of
their lives... "
Guys from the Bad Guys in Work
and Life " and by now, I have interviewed
hundreds of people to get
advice about how to tell the good
guys from the bad guys in work and
life and about living and working
with untrustworthy people. My
research shows that successful
people, both at work and
in their personal lives, have
a good offense for dealing
with these untrustworthy
people in their
lives. Here's what I
discovered.
Successful people, in
both their work and per "
We've
all probably been fooled by someone we
now know that we cannot trust. You know, your sister's
nasty husband, your dad's alcoholic stepdaughter,
that slimy guy/gal over in marketing, those selfserving
politicians who just can't seem to get the
facts straight. How do we handle these untrustworthy
people when we are forced into situations? I've written
a book entitled, " Trust Rules: How to Tell the Good
8 GRAND Summer 2021
sonal lives, carve untrustworthy people
out of their lives as much as possible.
But when forced to have untrustworthy
people in their lives for reasons beyond
their own control, they build strong
boundaries around their relationships
with these people. Try out these tips
when you're dealing with the untrustworthy
people in your own lives.
Begin by being absolutely certain the
person in question is in fact untrustworthy.
You must distinguish between
your suspicion that a person is untrustworthy and has
the potential to be harmful and actual evidence that
the person is untrustworthy and harmful. Then, once
you are certain, never forget with whom you
are dealing. You've determined someone is
untrustworthy for objective reasons,
so don't ever be fooled by their
charm into thinking differently.
Then, follow these tried and true
steps:
1. Be cautious about what
you say and do around the
untrustworthy person. Be certain
that your words cannot
be misconstrued or used out
of context.
2. Prepare! Imagine,
beforehand, what the
untrustworthy person may say
or do. Make sure you have prepared
counterarguments. Yet,
don't look for an argument or
disagreement. Just be ready if
one occurs. Be prepared with
data to support your points.
And be prepared to correct
the untrustworthy person if/
when they misquote you.
Continued on next page
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GRAND Magazine - Summer 2021

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