GRAND Magazine - Fall 2022 - 14

ask dr. gramma karen
"
This is a time many
grandparents enjoy a lot
of physical and emotional
closeness with their
grandchild.'
"
Stage 2: Grandparents as critical contributors
(grandchild is from 4 to 8 years old)
As the unpracticed parents become more
experienced and comfortable with their parenting
roles, they rely less and less on the
grandparents for advice and guidance. The
grandparents' greatest value is in spending
time with their grandchild, interacting primarily
as a buddy, or a playmate.
This is a stage when the grandparents do
a lot of " floor time, " spreading out various
building activities on the floor and playing
games with their grandchild. This is also when
many a favorite book gets read, over and over
and over. Because they are good buddies, this
is a time for lots of hand-holding while taking
walks or strolling the aisles in the grocery
store.
Grandparents play an important role in
this stage as they teach their grandchild outdoor
physical activities - how to ride a bike,
skateboard, plant a garden - as well as indoor
activities - how to make pancakes, build
LEGOS®, and play board games.
This is when grandparents do a lot of
teaching and educating, and their grandchild
14 GRAND Summer 2022
is perfectly content to spend lots of time
hanging out with them. At this stage, if asked
who their best friend is, many kids will say
that their grandmother or grandfather is their
best friend.
This is a time many grandparents enjoy a
lot of physical and emotional closeness with
their grandchild.
Stage 3: Grandparents as important contributors
(grandchild is from 8 to 12 years
old)
For kids in this age group, from about 8 to
12 years old, their friends become their focal
point, and grandparents become less of the
main attraction.
Sure, the grandchild still wants to play
miniature golf or go to the movies or get ice
cream, activities they used to do alone with
their grandparents, but now an invitation to a
grandchild to do something with a grandparent
is usually coupled with this phrase: " Can
my friends come too? " Spending time with a
grandchild has now become a package deal!
In this stage, the grandparents' role is all
about being social directors and chauffeurs,
helping with the arrangements and transportation
to help the grandchild be with his/her
friends. Also, as the grandchild's life involves
more sports and other activities, the parents
often call upon the grandparents to relieve
some of the pressure on them by transporting
and/or cheering on the grandchild as he
pursues his/her activities.
Stage 4: Grandparents as occasional
contributors (grandchild is from 12 to 16
years old)
This is where things can get more challenging
for the grandparents who, heretofore,
have enjoyed being a consistent and important
part of their grandchild's life.
Of course, grandparents smile and say
it is just wonderful to see their grandchild
mature, become independent, and build a
social life with friends. Yes, it is all that, but
it is understandable that grandparents now
and then yearn for those earlier days, times
when they felt a greater sense of purpose and
involvement.
The reality for many grandparents in this
stage is that their grandchild and his/her parents
need them less and less to be an active
part of their lives. Their main role now is to
provide backup now and then, for example,
taking the grandchild to some activity when
the parents have other commitments that
cannot be easily changed.
Click here to continue reading
A Must--‐Read for
Grandparents
A Must Read for
Everyone!
Look Inside
" This book...set me
straight. I wasn't sure
where my boundaries
were as a grandma... "
This book takes the
uncertainty and thorniness
out of relationships.
No more being confused,
or unsure about what to
do, often doing something
that makes a relationship
even worse!
" Karen identifies the
cause and effect of
family issues in plain
and simple language. "
--‐ Amazon.com Reviewers
Karen L. Rancourt, Ph.D., advice
columnist, is also an author. Her
most recent book is, It's All About
Relationships: New Ways to Make
Them Healthy and Fulfilling, at
Home and at Work.
Show me the book!

https://www.facebook.com/GRANDmagazine https://twitter.com/grandmmagazine?lang=en https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/098962742X/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=098962742X&linkId=66a0e1a55f91dad29012703995da3f18 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/098962742X/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=098962742X&linkId=66a0e1a55f91dad29012703995da3f18 https://www.grandmagazine.com/2022/10/ask-dr-gramma-karen/ http://www.Amazon.com https://www.askdrgrammakaren.com https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/098962742X/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=grandmagazi0d-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=098962742X&linkId=66a0e1a55f91dad29012703995da3f18 http://www.karenrancourt.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Its-All-About-Relationships-Fulfilling/dp/098962742X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1553688108&sr=1-2-fkmrnull https://www.amazon.com/Its-All-About-Relationships-Fulfilling/dp/098962742X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1553688108&sr=1-2-fkmrnull https://www.amazon.com/Its-All-About-Relationships-Fulfilling/dp/098962742X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1553688108&sr=1-2-fkmrnull https://www.amazon.com/Its-All-About-Relationships-Fulfilling/dp/098962742X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1553688108&sr=1-2-fkmrnull

GRAND Magazine - Fall 2022

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Fall 2022