GRAND Magazine - Winter 2022 - 31

ask dr. gramma karen
Other suggestions include:
* Morning messages - every morning the
first thing I do is send my grandsons (one
in high school, one in college) a graphic or
meme of some kind, sometimes something
amusing, other times something to let them
know I'm thinking of them, or perhaps something
a bit risqué (I think they like these the
most!). - I have found this a good resource
because I can search for specific themes, e.g.,
" have a nice weekend, " " miss you. " I recently
asked my grandsons if they like these morning
messages and they both said to keep 'em
coming. (Note: My grandsons have given permission
to be included in this column.)
* Send favorite foods and treats - including
menus and choices. A variation on this
is to send something for a tailgate if your
grands are into these. (It's fine to ask them for
a thumbs-up text tap back when they receive
anything sent to them.)
Of course, sending a special homemade
package is great, but for those of us not
into baking, there are many good commercial
options available. One of my favorites is
Goldbelly - lots of choices, fair prices, accommodation
for dietary restrictions, fast and
dependable service.
* Text current family news and photos
- in addition, my husband and I often pass
along photos of their parents as kids that we
come across with a brief explanation of the
backstory.
* Recommend things to stream that you
31 GRAND Winter 2022
know they will enjoy. For example, one of our
grandsons is big on poker, the other Marvel
movies; always appreciate learning about
related movies and series. Some great discussions
have resulted from our watching them,
too. We also ask them what books we can
send them related to their interests - another
crowd pleaser!
* Include them in Family Zoom and
FaceTime invitations - as busy as they are,
we have found the grands often tune in,
sometimes from their dorm room, other times
from the cafeteria, or locker room; sometimes
they join alone, other times they include
roommates and other friends.
* Keep it short - when we have the good
fortune to get a phone or FaceTime call from
one of our grands, I assume the role of timekeeper
because my husband would keep
them talking for hours if he could!
After a few minutes, I introduce closure
by acknowledging that we know how busy
they are and that we appreciate their call.
Sometimes they will say, " No, it's fine, I have a
few more minutes " ; other times the call ends.
* Sign up for newsletters for parents/
grandparents/family members - most colleges
offer one; some are weekly, some are
daily. They are a great source for learning
about campus activities and events. Knowing
what's going on and can be an opportunity to
text a grandchild a comment or reminder.
For example, " I see in the newsletter that
there is a deadline for getting tickets for some
activity ... just a reminder to sign up. "
Sometimes the college newsletter contains
information, research, and knowledge that
helps to better understand the issues and
challenges our grandchildren are dealing with.
For example, I found this newsletter article
so contributive to my understanding of
college students' growth and development
that I printed it out and keep it by my desk:
" Important Inner Work Your Students Do
Outside of the Classroom, " (copyright ©
Betsy Chapman, Ph.D., Wake Forest University,
The Daily Deac, September 23, 2021. Used
with permission, all rights reserved.)
In closing, I hope these suggestions help
grandparents be connected to their at-college
grandchildren in ways that are fun and welcomed
by all parties involved.
Here's two other columns for grandparents
with grandchildren headed to or attending
college:
" How Grandparents Can Help Their
College-Bound Grandchildren " and
" How Grandparents Can Be a Front-Line
Resource for College-Age Grandkids " .
Karen L. Rancourt, Ph.D., writes an
advice column for parents and grandparents
at Mommybites.com. Her
most recent book is, It's All About
Relationships: New Ways to Make
Them Healthy and Fulfilling, at
Hom
A Must--‐Read for
Grandparents
A Must Read for
Everyone!
Look Inside
" This book...set me
straight. I wasn't sure
where my boundaries
were as a grandma... "
This book takes the
uncertainty and thorniness
out of relationships.
No more being confused,
or unsure about what to
do, often doing something
that makes a relationship
even worse!
" Karen identifies the
cause and effect of
family issues in plain
and simple language. "
--‐ Amazon.com Reviewers
Show me the book!

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GRAND Magazine - Winter 2022

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Winter 2022