Theatre Design & Technology - Winter 2011 - 34

7 Cliff Scene.

up in our facilities. But, if a large fiberglass cow
could be purchased, we could make this design
work. I had communicated with a few manufacturers, including the company which makes
the famous Chick-Fil-A restaurant cows, and
determined that the cost of a brand new cow
cast from an existing mold would be $14,000$30,000. This was out of the question. However,
I was convinced that an affordable second-hand
cow could be located. But where do you find
one of those? Craigslist, E-Bay, restaurant supply auctions and ranch supply companies were
researched with some success, but with no solution. Finally, Fiberglass Animals, Shapes and
Trademarks (FAST) said it had a cow it normally rented, which could be purchased for an
amount that didn't break our budget.
The next step was showing the designer
image of the available statue assuring him it
would be large enough to facilitate the visual
he was hoping achieve. Armed with the dimensions of the rental cow, the shop staff quickly
prepared a large sawhorse dressed as a cow for
the Bauprobe the following afternoon. Our biggest challenge was the available cow was a touch
more than half the size (16 ft. long by 10 ft. tall)
of the designer's concept images (25 ft. long
x 12 ft. tall) As it turned out, the smaller was
a better dimension for our stage, a rather low
proscenium, 18 ft., makes for a letterbox feeling
and restricted the playing space atop the larger
shape. The decision was made.
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The next hurdle was to get the ten-foot-tall
discounted former rental cow to from FAST's
warehouse in Sparta, Wisconsin, to Tampa, Florida, 1,434 miles away. The structural integrity of
the sculpture allowed it to be carriage-bolted
to a flatbed trailer and transported easily at 70
mph. FAST would deliver at $1.50 per mile at an
estimated cost of $2,151. Fortunately, they were
able to give us a discount since they had deliveries in Tennessee and Alabama and would only
charge for mileage from their last scheduled delivery in Huntsville, Alabama. Winter in Wisconsin made the estimated delivery date the eighth
of December. Logistics seemed set, but we hit
another snag in the State University purchasing
system. The expense had been rejected as frivolous expenditure during economic hardship by
our account supervisor. We had to petition the
Provost and justify that the enormous cow was a
legitimate expense for our production program.
Since the school mascot is a Brahma Bull, we
argued that the cow would be dressed in a tutu
and placed on a float for homecoming to both
promote our College of the Arts and to display
school spirit. We received the go-ahead just as a
blizzard struck the northern Midwest.
Having dealt with the exigencies of university policy and the wrath of mother nature,
delivery was delayed to the following week. But
finally, she was delivered on 13 December and
quickly loaded into the shop. (figs. 1 and 6)
We had only a rough idea of the how the
w i n t e r 2011

cow would be used and had to wait until January and the arrival of the designer and director.
I knew we needed gull-winged doors and an escape hatch in the hind quarters, but didn't know
the size of the openings. The interior needed
to accommodate actors and costumes, so I removed the tail and used the opening as a starting point for a reciprocating saw, cutting a hatch
large enough to pass through in order to gain
access and ventilate the interior of the structure.
That gave me a better idea of what we were getting into. The side walls of the casting ranged
between 3/8˝ and 5/8˝, the interior surface was
fairly smooth and could be easily made "actor
friendly" for the production. The next step was
to address the gull-winged doors and structural
changes after the removal of both sides of the
cow. Unfortunately, the designer was unable to
be in residence and began to doubt that the
cow was large enough. This started a series of
Photoshop exercises in order to communicate
the size relationship to original design concept.
Ultimately, the assistant designer was able to
agree to the size of the cow and help to set the
gull-wing portal sizes. Next came the cutting of
the doors. Armed with a circular saw, respirator, and a body suit, I began the process. After
one side was removed, I projected the corners
to the opposing side through the cow with a level drilled through the side wall and connected
the dots on the exterior with a string and level.
The process was tedious due to the undulating

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