IEEE Technology and Society Magazine - December 2016 - 14

The Cybersex Addiction Index (CAI)
Do you have a problem with online sex addiction? Developed
by the Center for Internet Addiction at Netaddiction.com,
answer "yes" or "no" to the following statements [1]-[4]:
■ Do you routinely spend time in sexting and instant
messaging with the sole purpose of finding cybersex?
■ Do you feel preoccupied with using the online world for sex?
■ Do you frequently use anonymous communication to engage
in sexual fantasies?
■ Do you anticipate your next online session with the
expectation that you will find sexual arousal or gratification?
■ Do you move from cybersex to phone sex or even real-life
meetings?

a distraction to temporarily cope with
negative thoughts or problems in your
life, as the activity offers the ability to
absorb oneself into the Internet and its
various adult sites, giving you a means
to relax and temporarily feel good
about yourself. Over time, a fun habit
develops into a compulsive obsession.
At this stage, life becomes unmanageable as relationships or careers
are jeopardized because of the compulsive behavior. Longer periods of
time are spent searching for new pornographic images or mingling in adult
chat rooms. Cybersex no longer seems
to be a voluntary act, but a sexual act
that must be completed.

Recovery When Relapse
is a Click Away
Avoiding relapse is a common struggle for anyone in recovery, but the
problem often seems compounded
with cybersex addiction by the need
to use the computer while in recovery from the addiction. The relapse
process is especially difficult for the
cybersex addict due to what I call the
Stop-Start-Relapse Cycle. The cycle
is an internal dialogue that serves to
maintain the compulsive behavior.
1) Rationalization - Users will rationalize that cybersex serves as a
"treat" from a long, hard day of
work often making self-statement

Do you hide your online interactions from your significant other?
Do you feel guilt or shame from your online use?
■ Did you accidentally become aroused by cybersex only to
now find that you actively seek it out when you log online?
■ Do you masturbate when having cybersex or looking at
online pornography?
■ Do you feel less interest with your real-life sexual partner only
to prefer cybersex as a primary form of sexual gratification?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you
may be addicted to online sex. With this technology so widely
available, more people have come to realize their initial curiosity
has turned into an addiction.
■
■

such as, "Just a few minutes won't
hurt," "I can control my net use,"
or "I am right here at the computer, what the heck?" The user
will try to justify the need to look
at a few pictures or chat for a few
minutes, but they soon discover
that time slips by and the behavior is not so easily contained.
2) Regret - After the cybersex experience, the users' experience a
period of deep regret. Once they
climax, the addict feels guilt or
shame for the behavior such as, "I
feel guilty for how this is hurting
my wife" or "I can't believe I
wasted all this time," or "I am a
horrible person for what I just did."
3) Abstinence - The addict views the
behavior as a personal failure of
willpower and promises never to
do it again and a short period of
abstinence follows. During this
time, the addict temporarily
engages in healthy patterns of
behavior, resumes interests in old
hobbies, spends more time with
his family, exercises, and gets
enough rest.
4) Relapse - The addict in recovery
feels tempted to return to the
computer during stressful or
emotionally charged moments.
They begin to crave and miss
cybersex. They tell themselves
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that cybersex is the best way to
relax and feel good about themselves. Or they begin not to care
about the consequences. They
remember how good cybersex
felt both sexually and emotionally, and they forget how bad
they felt afterwards. The rationalization period starts again
and the cycle repeats itself.
How do you kick the cybersex
habit when you need to be on the
Internet and screens for work? How
can you stop abusing with our society's daily reliance on technology?
Similar to programs that address
overeating and food addiction, you
need to learn how to make healthy,
positive choices about your screen
use since complete abstinence isn't
always possible in today's technological world.
As in food addiction, certain types
of food trigger binge behavior. Let's
say chocolate or potato chips will trigger binge behavior but celery sticks
will not, so avoidance of those "trigger" foods is a necessary part of
recovery. Recovery from food addiction is about relearning how to eat
in order to make more informed and
healthier food selections with success being measured through objective goals such as changes in caloric
intake and weight loss.
∕

DECEmber 2016

http://www.Netaddiction.com

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of IEEE Technology and Society Magazine - December 2016