IEEE Technology and Society Magazine - December 2016 - 15

To address cybersex addiction the
same basic steps are applied. First,
determine the Internet activities, situations, and emotions that are most
likely to trigger net binges. A particular chat room, a certain time of day,
or the mood you are in just before you
log online may all serve as "triggers"
that will lead to inappropriate conduct
and abuse. Recovery means relearning how to use the Internet in order
to make better choices about time is
spent online with success being measured through objective, measurable
time management goals and abstinence requirements that are achieved
and maintained. Goals should include
a reduction in the number of hours
you spend online in total, the ability to
maintain abstinence from adult online
content, and an increase in other
offline activities using these five steps.
1) Keep a Daily Activity Log. The
first step towards reaching your
goals is to thoroughly assess
your Internet use during the day in
order to identify high-risk situations, feelings, or events that lead
to net-binges. During the workday a lot happens to an employee.
You may be anxious about a big
meeting or feel frustrated or
tense after the boss criticizes
your work, and you turn to cybersex as way to deal with these
emotions and work-related tensions. Certain moods or events
during the day can trigger cybersex use and help you escape or
avoid a troubling feeling or tense
moment. To help you pinpoint
what triggers your cybersex activities I suggest maintaining a Daily
Activity Log to keep track of when
you use the computer for cybersex each hour of the day, every
day of the week. Each time you
go online to engage in cybersex,
record the day, time, and events
going on at the moment.
2) Cope with Triggers. While
cybersex is a convenient distraction
DECEmber 2016

from problems, cybersex does very
little to actually help you cope with
the underlying issues that led you
to where you are today. If you are
suffering from marital problems,
consider marital counseling to
address those intimacy issues
instead of turning to cybersex. If
you view porn to handle stress at
work, then you need to learn more
effective stress management techniques to help you relax besides the
Internet. Whatever your situation,
please understand that it won't be
easy but will be well worth the effort.
3) Set a Schedule. Set time limits.
You can delete unnecessary
apps, put your phone on a charger when you come home from
work and not look at it again
until the morning, or ignore your
phone when you are talking with
others. I challenge smartphone
users to take a 48-hour digital
detox. Often, users struggle with
this time frame, so I suggest starting with a 24-hour detox. It is a
way to set a baseline with where,
when, and how much you use
your smartphone. In setting time
limits, be conscious of the situations and emotions that make
you want to check your phone. Is
it boredom? Loneliness? Anxiety? Maybe something else would
soothe you. Be strong when your
phone beeps or rings. Don't always
answer it. In fact, avoid temptation by turning off the alert signals. Be disciplined about not
using your device in certain situations (such as when you're with
children, driving, or in a meeting)
or at certain hours (for instance,
between 9 p.m. and 7 a.m.).
4) Limit Non-Essential Use. It is
important to limit non-essential
use of the Internet and this
typically means reducing the
number of hours spent sitting at
the computer. First, you should
assess how much time you use
∕

IEEE Technology and Society Magazine

the Internet for frivolous things,
such as buying a book on Amazon
when you could walk down to the
local bookseller, or reading the
New York Times online when
you could purchase the paper.
Evaluate all the tasks you perform on the Internet and examine which of these can you cut
out of your life. The computer is a
constant temptation to use it for
sexual rather than work-related
purposes. So if you do have to be
on the computer for work, then
you need to limit all extracurricular use of the Internet as a way to
minimize temptation.
5) Disconnect to Reconnect.
Establish tech-free time at home.
No phones at the dinner table, go
media-free for one hour after
dinner, or be more present in the
moment instead of snapping a
photo. Spend quality time with
others. Go out to dinner with your
spouse and keep the smartphones
at home. Enjoy a day at the park
with your family without any
smartphones. Go for a Sunday
drive with your family and leave
all the technology at home.

Author Information
The author is Founder, the Center
for Internet Addiction Recovery, and
Netaddiction.com.

References
[1] K. Young, "Understanding sexually deviant
online behavior from an addictive perspective," Int. J. CyberCrime and Criminology,
vol. 2, no. 1, pp. 298-307, 2008.
[2] K.S. Young, "Assessment and treatment
of problematic Internet use," in the Oxford
Handbook of Impulse Control Disorders,
J.E. Grant and M.N. Potenza, Eds. New York, NY:
Oxford Univ. Press, 2011, pp. 389-397.
[3] K.S. Young, "Internet sex addiction: Risk
ractors, stage, and treatment," in American
Behavioral Scientist - Psychology and the
New Media, K. Doyle, Ed. Thousand Oaks,
CA: Sage, 2008, pp. 21-37.
[4] K.S. Young, Tangled in the Web: Understand-
ing Cybersex from Fantasy to Addiction.
Bloomington, IN: Authorhouse Library, 2001.

http://www.Netaddiction.com

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of IEEE Technology and Society Magazine - December 2016