Blue Ridge Country - July/August 2018 - 14

MILL CREEK STORIES

Vacation

By MOLLY DUGGER BRENNAN

The cost-benefit ratio deserves a new inspection.

I

'm going to let you in on a little secret about me.
I'm not much of a vacation person. Oh sure, vacations sound so fantastic when you're perusing the
brochures. Pearlescent beaches, sunny weather,
fruity libations, and not a care in the world to be
had within 50 miles. Heaven on earth, just waiting
for me. Well, me and my money. No cabana boy is
going to fetch me a margarita without a hefty portion of
my paycheck being handed over to the heaven-on-earth
hotel and resort first.
That's where they lose me. Yeah, I'm sure the price of
the experience is worth it to some people, but is it to me?
Because when I think of the chore list I would have to
work through just to get ready for vacation, I hyperventilate a little. Catching up on laundry so I could pack for
seven days away is two weeks' worth of work right there.
Then I'd have to choose someplace to go, which re-

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quires research into weather patterns, hurricane probabilities, exchange rates and police reports. I would have to lay
in my medicines so I wouldn't get caught short, but I need
to swing by the drug store anyway since I'm out of sun
screen, SPF 50 at least, and first aid supplies. Do I need to
get any shots? When did I last have a tetanus booster?
Does the destination require air travel? I am no longer
a fan of airplanes, or more accurately airports. I used to
love airports. Used to hang out at Dulles sometimes on
my days off because I could watch people reunite with
their loved ones in Arrivals. There was just so much joy.
Somehow, the airports seem a lot surlier these days, a lot
less festive.
I mean, the motivation to leave my house has to be
unquestionably strong. The last time I went on vacation
was in 2004. Honestly, that is not a typo. It was 2004.
I eloped to the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Ve-


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Blue Ridge Country - July/August 2018

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Blue Ridge Country - July/August 2018

Blue Ridge Country - July/August 2018 - Intro
Blue Ridge Country - July/August 2018 - Cover1
Blue Ridge Country - July/August 2018 - Cover2
Blue Ridge Country - July/August 2018 - 3
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Blue Ridge Country - July/August 2018 - Cover3
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