The Roanoker - March 2014 - 19

"As to being a 'dude',
one is or one is not.
For myself, I would
say just live large and
laugh out loud, for life
is to be lived, enjoyed
and shared. Along the
way you will gather to
you like-minded folk,
who share your enjoyment of the moment
and life will be all the
sweeter for it." Party
down, dude.

QUEEN DUDE

DAVID HUNGATE

DAN SMITH

Joe Cobb gets a lot of press for
a dude who is basically an undude. Cobb's 51, gay, a minister
at the Metropolitan Community
Church, an author, a father, and
an insistent proponent for equality. But he's not the kind of angry,
self-righteous boor so often associated with "movement" politics.
He is frank about his dudeness: "Every dude needs ruby red slippers; they'll
take you places you never imagined. I have
three pair." And he has a pair in his office, sitting
near his rainbow-striped wig and his gay super-hero
costume, self-designed.
A few years ago, he teamed with his ex-wife, Leigh Anne, to write the book, "Our
Family Outing: A Memoir of Coming Out and Coming Through," about "our family's
journey through my coming-out experience." This is a guy who'd gone to divinity
school in Texas, for heaven's sake. Like Dorothy, he's from Kansas. He and his partner,
James, have combined families with four kids.
So, how's he a dude? "A dude is unique and aware, authentic and courageous, real
and mystical," he says, waxing poetic. And he says this, giving shape to the philosophy:
"Dudeness for me is: going to the extreme for justice and equality, standing with
people seeking the same, standing for people who haven't the strength to stand, being
a voice for those who no longer have a voice." He's out, like really out, and says he
wants to raise "children who are open-minded, inclusive, loving, and liberal." That's
"liberal." In Roanoke.
Here's a dude self-assessment: "I'm calm and honest. I listen, discern what I'm
responsible for, what the other person is responsible for, clarify, and move on. I'm
open to new ideas and eager to try them out. I love to create and see what others are
creating. I believe in being vulnerable, because this embodies authenticity."
And there's this: "I'm on the board of Family Promise [and it was host for] a superhero race in October to raise money to help families move from homelessness to
permanent housing. Instead of choosing a standard superhero, I created my own:
Rainbow Queen: I help people over the rainbow!"

THE

R OANOKER.COM

MOLLY MEADOR

His daughter, Sissy, lives in a straw house and lobbies people in
power. His wife, Louise, "is an extraordinarily good cook." He has
three boys. One son raises cattle in Wytheville (George's hometown),
one's "a busy volunteer" among many other things, and another makes
cabinets and raises kids.
A dude, Kegley says, is "a guy who does things a little differently,
perhaps zigging while others are zagging; he's too busy to notice what
others are doing." You get to be a dude "by listening to [your] own
drummer, not being influenced by [your] peers."
Kegley does "what comes naturally" and that most often means
"helping others, especially those who seem to be less fortunate, but
that probably is un-dude-like."
The most dude-like thing he's ever done? "I went on my daughter's
honeymoon to China, at her invitation, 25 years ago ... Great trip."
MARCH/APRIL 2014

The Roanoker - March 2014

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