The Roanoker - March 2014 - 24

From the Other Side . . .

Top 10 Annoying Dude Traits

and How to Overcome Them (If You Really Want to)
ISTOCK / WILLIAMJU

Ladies put up with a lot, and
often in silence. Maybe it's time for
a frank chat . . .
BY BETH JONES
I love men. With a dad, a husband,
an elderly tomcat and, most importantly, a new baby boy, I spend much
of my time among those of the XY
chromosomes.
I do sometimes find myself puzzled by how men and women in
general seem to move through the
world so differently. Are we taught
these differences by society? Are lady
brains wired differently than guy
brains? You got me. One thing I am
sure of, though: dudes sometimes
be annoying. Let us count the ways:
NUMBER ONE

Overwhelming sense
of entitlement
The only people not sweating
the cramped conditions on that
De Havilland Dash 8 plane out of
Roanoke Regional to Charlotte are
the folks smart enough to down a
pre-boarding Xanax. Still, men and
women seem to react to the misery of modern air travel in different
ways. The Wall Street Journal reported women are more likely to shrink
up to avoid contact with strangers,
where men spread out, often splaying their legs to claim more room.
FIX: Play nice. The passenger sitting in the middle seat gets both arm
rests. Don't spread your legs outside
the area directly in front of your seat.
You may get a cramp, but you won't
be remembered as "that jerk on the
plane."

24 MARCH/APRIL 2014

NUMBER TWO

So gross!
Won't be tackling the male tendency
to leave the toilet seat up here. We
have more repulsive fish to fry. Like,
say, I'm standing in line at Carmike
10 at Tanglewood Mall and a male
teenager without warning and unapologetically hocks a loogie right
next to where I'm standing. While
we're talking mucus, have you ever
been minding your own business
hiking McAfee Knob when happened upon a male engaging in a
Bushman's Blow? I have. (I'll let you
visit Urban Dictionary if you're not
familiar with that term). Or, how
about the former Hollins professor
infamous for cutting his toenails in
public. And then, of course, there's
the husband who thinks if he coughs
while breaking wind, no one will be
the wiser.
FIX: Shape up. If you wouldn't
do it in front of your mother, don't
do it in public.
NUMBER THREE

Not talking about
Your Feelings
My girlfriend had been married less
than a month when her husband
got mad after she asked how he
felt about the basketball game he
just played.
"It's sports," he said. "There are
no feelings."
Here's another area where neuro-

NUMBER FOUR

Not listening
I'm in the middle of detailing the subtle nuances of a facebook fight
that went down with a cousin when I notice my husband shifting
his head so he can better see the television. It's not just my stories
he tunes out either. More than once, we've both paid the cellphone
bill because he didn't hear me say I had paid it. Recent studies in
neuroscience suggest that women's brains may be better suited for
listening. Knowing that doesn't make me any less ticked off, though,
when I see my male coworker checking his watch while I'm telling
a story.
FIX: In the end, it doesn't matter whether it's a lack of interest
or a less efficient amygdala that causes some men to tune some
women out. It's in a man's best interest to be able to communicate
with the fairer sex. They'll be able to do that better if they hone
their active listening skills, which means being cognizant of really
listening when the other person is talking, instead of using the time
to formulate what they plan to say next. Don't interrupt. When she
finishes speaking, ask questions about what she said or paraphrase
what you heard.
science may soon be able to point to
magnetic-resonance imaging of the
brain to explain gender differences.
Turns out, women's brains may
generally be better suited to talking
about feelings.
FIX: Again, the bottom line is we
need to be able to make the most of

our relationships with the opposite
sex. Sometimes, she'll need to listen
to you go on and on about the merits
of "Raising Arizona" over "The Big
Lebowski." Sometimes, you'll need
to be able to talk about, say, the anxiety you feel about turning 50.
THE

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