The Roanoker - March/April 2021 - 34

met the people who lived and worked there. They
McKinnon's boys,
Patrick, 10, and
encountered rhinoceroses and zebras. On their final Logan,
5, both died
day, after a night camping under the swirl of the
when their house
burned five years
Milky Way, a female elephant broke from a nearby
ago.
herd and walked up to McKinnon. She put her trunk
on McKinnon's face, touched her head, reached across her body.
McKinnon was told this elephant had also recently lost a child.
The elephant mama seeking out the human mama so they could
commune in their pain.
The experience was mind-bending for McKinnon. She realized
she should never again feel alone, that humans are not the only
creatures that suffer, that all of creation was hers to connect with.
" When I have one of those days where I'm overwhelmed ... all
I have to do is go back to that moment. All I have to do is call out
her name. And it's like I have the strength of this elephant, " she
says in her quiet, confident voice.
She spent the next year traveling the world, exploring cultural
perspectives and values she had never known.
Her quest might have continued, but in the fall of 2017, she
learned she was pregnant with Trinity. It was time to make a new
home.

10 Things to do to Feel Better
1. Breathe.

" Because of how
quickly that grounds
you and shifts
everything within
you, " McKinnon says.

34 MARCH/APRIL 2021

2. Lean in

to other cultures and
practices, and their
understandings of
pain, grief and joy.

3. Hike in nature,
by yourself.
Ask: What does
nature have to show
me about what I'm
feeling?

4. Ask for help.
Keep a running list
on your phone or
fridge for tasks to
delegate.

TheRoanoker.com

LAUREN COLLIVER

A Second Chance McKinnon's life is starkly
divided between the before and the after.
Before the fire, McKinnon was a carefree
spirit, who had followed her curiosity from
her family's roots in the Winston-Salem,
N.C., Moravian community to the rituals of
the Episcopalian church and the breathtaking
mountains surrounding Roanoke. She was a
competitive gymnast-turned-youth minister, who
felt fed by nature's wonders.
She was a young woman who fell in love.
She was a new mother who fell in love again,
and again. She uncovered the healing powers of
massage and the magic of accompanying women
through childbirth. She discovered Qoya, a
practice that guides women to let go of negative
emotions through movement, and she joined a
worldwide community of seekers finding wisdom
in spiritual sources such as shamans, mystics and
Tarot cards.
" You know, we had a beautiful life, " she recalls, her blueishgrayish eyes distant. " We had it all. We had the big house, we had
amazing travels. We had great jobs. "
After the fire, McKinnon had no home, no identity, no voice.
She coughed up soot for months. She vacillated between working
to heal her body and soul, and running away. She leaned heavily on
her Roanoke community, who showed up in every way they knew
how, and sought the solace of out-of-town friends where she could
fall apart in anonymity.
Eventually, she began her practices of self-care again, taking part
in therapies of all kinds, including an equine program at Healing
Strides with a group of mothers who had also known and loved
Patrick and Logan.
Long-time friend and coaching colleague Melinda Cohan
remembers McKinnon at that time. " Most people, when faced with
tragedy, I've seen it, they abandon those tools, those practices, that
community. Lindsay held tight to them.... That's what allowed her
to navigate her journey of grief. "
Then, in October 2016, Lindsay and Tom flew to a wildlife
conservation park in Zimbabwe. They danced and meditated and

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The Roanoker - March/April 2021

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