Vim & Vigor - Spring 2018 - Gwinnett Medical Center - 31

PERFECT TRAP:

Parenting

Perfectionism is a problem most new moms know all too
well. You want to be the perfect mom, do it all without
any help-and maybe even capture the perfection in your
social media posts. Biali Haas recommends trying to reduce
your exposure to the latter. "Social media is such a source
of pressure. Even if you logically know that everyone on
Facebook is curating their lives and you're not seeing their
messy reality, just scrolling through it can still have negative effects," she says.
So, why are moms so prone to perfectionism in the
first place?
"Because perfectionism is based
on the notion of your self-worth,
and that's also why it's so hard
to shake," Lombardo says. It
takes making a conscious shift
toward unconditional acceptance, where you believe in
yourself not because your
child behaved perfectly
or got into an elite university, but because
of your own values
and strengths.
"When you start
doing that and
changing how you
perceive yourself,"
Lombardo says,
"then everything shifts." ■

8 SIGNS YOUR
PERFECTIONISM
IS IN OVERDRIVE
Are your high standards harming your health? Here are a
few red flags to watch for:
1. You're always stressed out. "Elevated stress can
adversely affect your health by causing the hunger hormone,
ghrelin, to rise and increase appetite. Also, overactivating the
stress-response system and increasing cortisol can result in
unwanted weight gain," says Amanda Pileski, PhD, a behavioral
health coordinator at GMC's Center for Weight Management.
2. Your relationships feel unsatisfying. Putting too
much pressure on ourselves to please others can leave us feeling depleted and even resentful. Good boundaries, however,
provide healthy relationships and ensure positive self-care.
3. You have trouble sleeping. Our never-ending to-do
lists and racing minds can sometimes interfere with sleep.
Feeling lethargic leads to poor food choices, increased
cortisol levels and resulting weight gain, Dr. Pileski says.
4. You frequently get sick. "This is often a sign that
you're overdoing things and your immune system is suffering," she explains.
5. You tend to quit when you fail. "We all make mistakes. When you find yourself disappointed with a behavior
or outcome, just use the relapse prevention strategy," says
Dr. Pileski. "Do the next right thing."
6. You're exhausted. "Feeling tired, irritable and emotionally distant can be a sign you're setting unattainable
standards for yourself and receiving inadequate social
support," she adds.
7. You force yourself to relive negative events or
actions. "Perfectionists tend to believe worry or striving
excessively to correct missteps will be beneficial, but the
opposite is true because focusing too much on mistakes is
rarely a path forward," Dr. Pileski explains.
8. You're constantly "should-ing" yourself or others.
"I encourage clients to discontinue use of the word should,
and instead say, 'I want to,'" she says. Viewing actions as
opportunities rather than obligations can create a powerful change.

PHOTOS BY GETTY IMAGES

WEBSITE

Change-Inside and Out
With a comprehensive medical weight loss program, GMC's Center for Weight Management
offers a whole-body program customized to
your needs. Visit gwinnettmedicalcenter.org/
medicalweightloss.

SPRING 2018

http://www.gwinnettmedicalcenter.org/medicalweightloss http://www.gwinnettmedicalcenter.org/medicalweightloss

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Vim & Vigor - Spring 2018 - Gwinnett Medical Center