Condo Media - August 2014 - 18

by Jack Carr, P.E., RS, LEED-AP

C A I

R e g i o n a l

N e w s

MAINE

Condo Laughs in Maine
People Have a Unique Sense of Humor Here

p here in Maine the winters
are too long, the summers
too short, and we love to see
a large summer full of tourists
leave a little bit early in August. Though
all will agree Maine is "the way life
should be," it does come with its
own challenges, and condo property
managers know Maine's mix of yearround unit owners, snowbirds, and
growing senior demographic populations create their own interesting
humorous stories. Perhaps for this
reason in my travels throughout the
country, I ﬁnd Maine has a unique sense
of dry humor in the air.
I recall I was engaged in a transition
study for a new condominium complex
in a town bordering New Hampshire
and Maine. One of the interesting
aspects of the study was a recent U.S.
Geographical Survey revealed some
adjacent farmland was actually in New
Hampshire and not Maine, as all supposed. When walking this new border
line, I spotted a farmer on his tractor tilling the soil on the new "New
Hampshire" land. I waved him down
and asked him how he liked to be in
New Hampshire now. He paused and
grunted in a thick Downeast accent,
"It's wicked good! I couldn't take
another of these Maine winters."
Let's face it, you know you're in
Maine if you own more than four sets
of gloves or you're delighted on Valentine's Day to receive a set of snow
tires as a present. It's the only place I
know where property managers tell of
getting snow blowers stuck on roofs.
And, of course, summers have their
own perils, as it's the only state where
mosquitoes have landing lights.
Coastal condo communities like Old
18

Condo Media * August 2014

Orchard Beach unit owners deal with
tracking in sand from the beach in the
summer and then again in the winter
from the roads and sidewalks. New
condo buyers "from away" are always
surprised to ﬁnd listed in the condo

of condo living. Some of their emergency call logs alone could feed a new
TV sitcom called "All Condos Great
and Small."
Here's a sampling of these unit
owner emergency voicemails:

You know you're in Maine if you own more than four
sets of gloves or you're delighted on Valentine's Day
to receive a set of snow tires as a present.
documents an amenity called "fried clam
shack." They also don't understand why
the units and their garages have security
lights but neither is ever locked.
These days new Maine condo buyers
are paying more attention in their due
diligence process in their review of the
operating and reserve fund statements.
The out-of-staters are particularly
surprised when they note the various
line items on the operating expense
charts with large budgets for "mailbox
replacement due to plow" or "façade
repair: duct tape." They're truly mystiﬁed when they read the major maintenance supplier is "Uncle Henry's."
Speaking of maintenance, condo real
estate advertising is getting out of control here in Maine. I had just ﬁnished
inspecting a condo complex during a
reserve fund project where I observed
a lot of deferred maintenance. Later
that weekend, I read in the Sunday
paper's real estate section an ad for one
of the units in this same condominium.
One of the ad's superlative adjectives
described the condo as "maintenance
free." How could I argue?
As I mentioned, property managers
are a great source of humorous tales

* "The toilet is broke, where do I
stand?"
* "There is a smell coming from the
man in the next unit."
* "The toilet is blocked, and we can't
bathe until it is cleared."
Of course, Maine general unit owner
meetings can be a real hoot. You know
you are at a meeting with serious issues on the agenda when all the board
members are in formal attire with the
directors all wearing ties with their ﬂannel shirts including the women. And
you know you are reading Maine condo
board meeting minutes when the word
"wicked" appears more than ﬁve times.
We Mainers love to poke fun at ourselves not to mention our visitors from
south of the Piscataqua River. I recall
standing on the main street in Kittery
when an out-of-state licensed car rolled
its window down and the driver yelled
at a passing Mainer, "Where can I ﬁnd
Kittery?" and of course the reply was,
"Don't move an inch." CM
Jack Carr, P.E., RS, LEED-AP, is
senior vice president with CriteriumEngineers in Portland, Maine.

Condo Media - August 2014

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