Recording - December 2014 - 52

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artists having a woman either as the artist or
"featured." However, this is an interesting fact;
the songwriters on those hits by females were
only about 20% women. Only 8 of the 42 songwriters on those hits by females, were women!
There was an average eight-second intro. The
extremes, of course, were Maroon 5 and
Rihanna with a zero start [no intro], or Gotye,
with a 28-second intro! As a matter of fact,
Gotye is an anomaly for a whole lot of reasons.
All of the #1s but LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know
It" used the pronoun you-the trigger word-
within 20 seconds of the start of the lyric. It's a
trigger word; it invites the listener in.
Almost all of the songs reach the first use of title
within 60 seconds-60 seconds is an enormous
amount of time-except Gotye. Almost all,
except "Diamonds" by Rihanna and "We Are
Young," obey the two-minute rule. Now, apparently, the listener gets bored at around two
minutes and wants something to happen. Lady
Gaga, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, everyone obeys that
two-minute rule, and either goes into a middle
eight, or a bridge-or whatever you choose to
call it-a key change, or a rap. Something happens around two minutes to 2:20. Repetitions
ranged from 5 to 38, with an overall average of
seven repetitions. All the songs involved love of
some form or another.
When I was in Vancouver doing a seminar for a
bunch of young people, this young guy said to
me, "Does it have to be love all the time?" I said,
"Let me think. In my lifetime it always has been
love." That can be like love of country, love of
family, whatever. But whatever it is, it is love.
I've got to quote my pal Jay Frank here. The
theme of the songs in Pop and Dance range
from "I'd love to do ya," to "Hey, I'm doin' ya,"
to "I'm tired of doin' ya," to "Let's party." Those
are the four themes for Pop.
So the best bet for a #1 is 100 beats per minute,
or more; having a woman as the artist; having an
eight-second intro; using the pronoun you within
20 seconds from the start of the song; getting to
a bridge or a middle eight-whichever you
choose to call it.
Using the pronoun you within 20 seconds, getting to the bridge or middle eight between 2
minutes and 2:30... If you look at Carly Rae Jepson, or "We are Never Getting Back Together,"
2:03, 2:04; averaging seven repetitions of the
title; creating an expectation, and then fulfilling
that expectation in 60 seconds or less. There is
also a 70% chance that you will be the writer. So
the writer will be the artist, or one of the writers.
So what you are going to do if you are just a
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writer and not an artist? You're going to be looking for an artist to co-write with. I don't care
whether you are in Pop, whether you are in the
U.K., in Sweden, in Los Angeles, whatever! If
you are just a writer, you had better be looking
for an artist to work with...and a producer.
In Country, the Billboard #1s in the United
States, there were 34, which is three times the
number of #1s in Country than there were in
Pop. The reason is because in Country they deal
with airplay; in Pop they deal with sales. They
are totally different markets. Billboard has now
changed that, so now all my research as I
descend into hell this Christmas and listen to
these songs, will be totally skewed because I am
going to have to accommodate that change.
And I'll tell you something, by the way. Do I like
all the #1 songs that I listen to? No, 90% of the
time I don't like them. I hate them, but 20 million other people love them. So who's right?
Twenty million people, or chumpo me? Wrong.
Yeah, me, of course I'm wrong.
People always come to me and say, "I'd like to
play you a song. I really want your opinion." No
you don't, because in my opinion, what I love is
a whole different thing... I love Tony Bennett.
You don't want my opinion on your hot dance
act at 128 beats per minute. That would be my
opinion. What you want is whether this will
function as a piece of work, because it's important to you as dysfunctional human beings to
generate and earn a living doing what you love
doing.
Anyway, there were 34 #1 records on the
Billboard Country charts last week, almost three
times the #1s that were on the Pop charts. Note
that two-thirds of those records had the artist
writing on them, up from a high last year, where
50% of the #1s had the artist writing on their
own hits. Now, as opposed to Pop, where twothirds were under a 100 beats per minute, and
those records spent two-thirds of the year at #1.
Country is the polar opposite of Pop. And we're
going to get into that, because I'm going to give
you all the information as to why, and what the
human animal required from them.
The Billboard Country charts were also "male
heavy," artist-wise, with only 25% of the #1s featuring women. Women writers also felt left out
at Country, with only seven women writers out
of 80 writers contributing to a #1 song. Only
seven women out of 80 people that wrote on
those 34 #1 records. In Country, the average
intro length was 14 seconds. Although there
were no zero starts, there were five three-second
intros, all the way up to 30 seconds on Lee
Brice's "Hard to Love." All used the pronoun you
within 20 seconds of the start of lyric except
two. The main one that pokes out to me is
Dierks Bentley's "Home," which is about the

United States. Actually, that was the only
at rest music.
Now, at rest music means it's 60 beats per
minute-what is like totally calm-that was 59
beats per minute. Almost all obeyed the twominute wall. I want you to remember that-the
two-minute wall where the listener gets bored
around two minutes. Just after two minutes,
they are outa there, so they gave the listeners
something different between two minutes and
2:30. Repetitions were exactly the same as in
Pop-seven.
So the best bet in Country where the
demographic is women 25 to 40, is a 100 beats
per minute or less, male artist, 14-second intro,
uses the pronoun "you" within 20 seconds of the
start of lyric, has a bridge, middle eight-or
whatever you choose to call it-between two
minutes and 2:30, has seven repetitions of
title-exactly the same as Pop-creates an
expectation, fulfills it in 60 seconds-exactly the
same as Pop-and there will be a 66% chance
that the writer will also be the artist. OK?
So what I have just given you is data. What it
doesn't tell you is what to write. This isn't about
what you have to write; this is about pitching,
and pitching smart. This is all about you being
in the music business... music business! It's really
important that you think like a business person,
because they're going to spend an average of
one million-one hundred thousand dollars on
that project, and they're not going to spend it if
that project will flounder because of the
song itself.
Now, let's look at how music affects the human
animal, OK? That's what we're concerned with.
Music is only, only ever played in public if it
makes money for the user. That's the only time
you'll ever hear it. I know people say, "Oh, it's
just background music," or "it's irritating elevator music, or that stuff that's playing in
restaurants." I recently did some stuff in New
Orleans, and they're surrounded by these wonderful restaurants that play Jazz. Well, if you
hear Jazz in a restaurant, you'll be paying a third
more for food. You feel, "Oh yeah, I will have a
cappuccino, not a coffee. I'll have a salad. I'll
have a little dessert, or I'll pay 20 bucks more for
a bottle of wine."
However, if you hear Classical music, you will
play a third more for food, but you'll have fewer
drinks and leave earlier. You'll pay about 28%
more for Popular music, and the least you'll pay
for your "dining experience" is in a restaurant
with no music. You eat and you leave.
Restaurants know that! As a matter of fact, one
of the hard things about being in New Orleans
is going over to Loyola [University] to teach a
class and basically saying, "Look, everybody,
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Recording - December 2014

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