Elephants and Tea - September 2019 - 4

Caregivers

CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

CATACLYSMIC
ATTACHMENT
TRAUMA

He looked at me quickly from
across the small white room with
his big eyes, and I immediately knew
what he was thinking. He didn't have
to say a word or make a sound. I assessed
how serious he was this time, and his intense
eyes immediately fed the words that would leave
my mouth next. I looked to the figure in the doorway,
and said, "I'm so sorry, but he only trusts Nurse Heather
to access his port."
I have cataloged in my mind thousands of times when I was fully my son's voice
during treatment, when I protected him from what could be seen and could not be seen,
by just a simple meeting of our eyes. This role translated to every aspect of his delicate
life at the time: medical appointments, pills, pokes, infusions, school and friends. At
the best of times, I would know if it would be a good day or a sad day by watching how
he moved out of bed, by looking at the pallor of his skin or gently stroking the back
of his head to quickly count how many hairs would be left on my hand while casually
discarding the evidence before he could notice.
Although I was assessing my son, little did I know that I was also assessing myself. His
daily physical and emotional health directly affected my health. It is commonly said that
a parent is only ever as happy as their most unhappy child. When your child has cancer,
this statement is not only truth, but is the backbone of cataclysmic attachment trauma.
THE CATACLYSM AND THE CATACLYSMIC EFFECTS
A cataclysm is defined as a momentous and violent event marked by overwhelming
upheaval or an event that brings great changes. Clearly a childhood cancer diagnosis
and all it encompasses, tightly fits into this definition. It is important to understand for
both the patient and the caregiver in the pediatric population, cancer is
a lifelong diagnosis. I believe this is not something to fear, but
rather something to acknowledge and accept. With acceptance, we can begin the process to open our minds to the
potential for healing.

ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM
SEPTEMBER 2019

http://www.elephantsandtea.com

Elephants and Tea - September 2019

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