Elephants and Tea - December 2019 - 7

FIGHTERS

"I've never stopped fighting you since you tried to kill
me and now, you're barely alive. Maybe not even."
There's a quote that goes something like this:
The Shit - "Life is 10% what happens to you
and 90% how you respond to it".
I memorized a poem called Invictus, a few
years ago when I had my medial meniscus
removed. Invictus means "unconquerable"
or "undefeated" and the poem is about being
an unconquerable soul. It's about not letting
circumstances and adversity control you; to
not feel bad for yourself, but recognize what
is happening and be the best you can despite
the storm raining down on you.
After my diagnosis, my friend Sam LoFaso
started making Timstrong bracelets. They're
orange and one side of the bracelet says the
word Invictus. He sold 500-600 at my alma
mater Padua Franciscan. Since then my family
and friends have been giving them out and
spreading my message. My Uncle Joe Bucci
has sold 400+ at his restaurant J Bella, my
fraternity brothers from Kent State wear and
have sold one hundred, my family and all of
my friends wear them, I gave 65 to my internship company First Day, my brother sold 100+
at his high school Strongsville. I give one out
almost every day to a random person and tell
them my message. My friend Brinn gave her
volleyball team each one, etc. People I don't
even know from far away wear my bracelet in
support of me and they all receive my message.
To be unconquerable.
I have never said why me. The changes and
learning to deal with all of "the shit" was
overwhelming, but I take life day by day and
just do as much as I can. I should have died
weeks before I saw a doctor. You were taking
hold of my life months before I ever knew it.
I should not be alive. That is something I will
never forget.
The Shit - Every day that I wake up I'm going
to smile, just because I woke up.
That's what one of my friends, Pat, who
works at UH said when she had cancer as a
child. I live by it now.
The Shit - I'm writing this letter to you.
I'm writing this to you, cancer, while chemotherapy is pumped into the port implanted
in my chest... so HA take that bitch! Anyways

I was just telling my doctors everything I did
yesterday, and they say to me "Wow. You truly are amazing. You do more than any other
patient I've had." That's what my doctors say
to me pretty much every week and it's true.
When you don't feel bad for yourself life is
pretty good.
Despite "the shit," I'm up every day at before
7am and by dinner time have already done 4-5
hours of homework, did 100+ pushups, read
my book(s), meditated, hit the gym, and have
cooked and eaten clean and healthy food. After
that I try to hang out with my friends or make
the most of the day and go do something; see a
movie, go to the metro parks, play basketball,
swim, draw, fish, I do whatever I want (with
necessary precautions)!
You see everyone has their own "shit"
they're dealing with. Everyone will go through
something, whether you realize that or not.
Everyone has their problems to deal with.
We are human and we have to suffer because
it's part of life. I believe life is about learning
as much as you can, facing adversity with
courage and striving to be the best version
of yourself. So just because "the shit" I go
through is different than most people, am I
going to quit? Am I going to be a downer? Am
I going to complain to everyone constantly?
Heck no. No way.
To be honest, I got a lot to worry about, but
I think I'm happier than almost everyone I
know. If you ever ask how I'm feeling I will
say "phenomenal," "great," or "no complaints."
Very rarely would you hear something like
"ehh I haven't gone a week without puking."
If everywhere I went, I told and showed people
all the problems I deal with, then they would
feel even worse for me. I would be a stick in
the mud. That would be me letting you win!
Yeah right! I want to make everyone around
me happy and not make them feel bad for
me. When you become part of someone's life,
everyone already feels bad that person. No
matter what. Can't blame em either.
But that's the last thing I want; people to feel
bad for me. I am the happiest I've ever been in
my entire life and I hope that shows through

Dear Cancer...
my actions and presence. You messed with
the wrong person because when you thought
just came into my life, you came into a thousand lives. I have so many people praying for
me, sending me letters and gifts, texting me,
and supporting me that even if I wanted to, I
could never feel bad for myself. There's more
than thousand people walking around with
MY timstrong Invictus bracelet. Heck, Indians player Carlos Carrasco is wearing one! I
am surrounded by love and amazing people;
I have no more complaints for you.
There are people that have it far worse than
I do. You have brought too much good in my
life so not for one second will I let "the shit"
break me. The day I got diagnosed my godmother said to me "what are we doing here?"
I said "fighting."
I've never stopped fighting you since you
tried to kill me and now, you're barely alive.
Maybe not even.
I'm in remission and you're not coming
back. I'll continue to push myself and defy
what my doctors think is possible. I'll keep
raising money to kill you by selling bracelets,
donating, and running 5 ks. I will never quit,
fold, give in, or forfeit. I will continue to gain
strength when I'm not supposed to. I'll continue having a good attitude towards you and
my situation. I'll continue trying to be a beacon a positivity. I'll continue trying to make
everyone around me smile. And I'll continue
kicking your ass until you are nothing left.
But before your dead, I'd like to say thank
you. Thank you for overwhelming me with
love. Thank you for giving me a million more
opportunities, despite taking a few away.
Thank you for teaching me the importance of
self-love. Thank you for bringing me closer to
my family and showing me how many people
are looking out and praying for me. Thank you
for all of "the shit" because growth requires
suffering. Thank you for teaching me so much
about gratitude. Thank you for teaching me
how to be mindful. Thank you for showing me
how much my friends care about me. Thank
you for showing me that I have discipline
and patience. Thank you for showing me I
have strength and courage. Thank you for
showing me that I can roll with any punches
life throws at me and hit back. Thank you for
showing me that I remain undefeated, that I
am an unconquerable soul. That I am Invictus.
From Yours Truly,
T I MOT H Y T USIC K

ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM
DECEMBER 2019

http://www.elephantsandtea.com

Elephants and Tea - December 2019

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