Elephants and Tea - December 2020 - 29

FINDING PURPOSE
With every success, I am deeply humbled.
Each day that I am granted another chance
at life, I make a choice to defy impermanence by investing all of the breath in my
body to uplift those that are around me.
I have made a commitment to leave this
world a better place than the one I was
born into. It is not an easy journey, but it
is the one I have chosen. It is a constant
and conscious practice to choose joy and
gratitude in the face of impermanence.
Gratitude is a choice for me. It is grounding, humbling and the greatest motivation.
Here is a meditation that includes affirmations any time I feel overwhelmed by the
existential dread. I believe in the power of
the words I speak. I have invited healing
into my life. I invite you to try it out. Look
in the mirror and repeat after me:

After the guilt set in, my life was tainted with meaninglessness. I found myself
consumed by my own transience in understa nding t hat imperma nence is t he
only undeniable truth. What is the point
of choosing gratitude when I could die of
cancer? Why start something when I could
die before I finish? How do I live a life of
meaning when cancer has a permanent role
in the cast of my life? I'm sure you too have
asked, what is the point? I used to spend so
much time avoiding my imminent death,
that I was losing sight of the life that looks
back at me when I stand in front of a mirror.
I am unlearning this every day.
Due to my cancer predisposition, cancer
will always share in my successes. Cancer has shared the light in my proudest
moments.
Like when I graduated high school on
time after a cancer diagnosis. Or when I
was the first in my family to graduate from
college. Unfortunately, Mom and Christina
died before they had the chance.
Or when I rallied some friends to raise
$50,000 dollars for uninsured services at
The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.
In my burgeoning career, cancer catapults me toward my purpose in meeting
people in the darkness of a cancer diagnosis
as a social worker.

I am living and
This world is better because I have lived.
I am enough. And I have enough to offer.
I am surviving cancer.
I am living.
I am healing.
I deserve to be alive.
I invite you to use these once a day, spontaneously, or more! Feel free to add your
own and share them with someone you love.
I'm a Black transgender person living in

Love

America. I have lived through two cancer
diagnoses. And I am sur viving racism,
transphobia and cancer within the very
institutions that thrive when I am quiet
about these identities. When I am myself
and joyful, that is a revolutionary act. I
am a warrior. This diagnosis has been the
most transformative thing in my life. I
never thought that a disease so ugly could
be the root of my life's purpose. Today, I
am pursuing a Master's of Social Work on
the east coast. My commitment to social
justice is rooted in the rib of my mother.
I hope that today she would be proud of
my resilience and commitment to seeking
meaning, even when life seems futile. If no
one told you today,
You are loved.
You are loved.
You are loved. l

Impermanence is the only
undeniable truth. What is the
point of choosing gratitude
when I could die of cancer? Why
start something when I could
die before I finish? How do I live
a life of meaning when cancer
has a permanent role in the cast
of my life? ... I make a choice to
defy impermanence by investing
all of the breath in my body to
uplift those that are around me.
ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM
DECEMBER 2020

29
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Elephants and Tea - December 2020

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