Elephants And Tea - March 2021 - 40

A

Keep Moving.
Keep Living.
BY A L L I E N E W M A N

40

ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM
MARCH 2021

N ENTIRE DECADE... 10 years
ago today, I was given the notorious
" Osteosarcoma " diagnosis... it was a
Thursday night, Jan. 20, 2011. I was
sitting in bed finishing up my AP
Calculus homework for the night, with my crutches
leaning up against my bed (at the time still oblivious and confused as to why I was given crutches
to begin with)... and within seconds, life changed.
What seemed like a normal Thursday night for a
16 year old junior in high school, quickly turned
in a different direction. I had cancer. This word:
Osteosarcoma became a well known and quite
often word used in the Newman household. Still
oblivious, confused and unclear on what this all
meant, I was set to start chemotherapy the next day
at 8 am. Within 10 hours of learning I had cancer, I
had no time to digest this reality. I was completely
controlled - I was told what I could and couldn't
eat, when I had to be at the hospital, what I could
and couldn't do/participate in, etc. it was the first
time I truly felt lifeless, yet there was never the
option of or even thought that my life could possibly end, it wasn't even something that crossed my
mind to be honest. I began to tap into an unknown
inner reserve that was perpetuated inside of me.
I had to accept the battle that was thrown at me
instead of continually trying to fight it off. As in
any race, whether walking or running, competing
in a competitive sport, or even fighting for your life,
taking a timeout is never an option; the fight has
to inevitably carry on. I may not have had much
control at all that year or even other times in my life,
but I've always known I have to keep going. My heart
is beating, yes at a rapid and abnormally high rate
due to CHF (congestive heart failure) that I was told
I had due to the toxic doxorubicin chemotherapy
infusions. Does heart failure suck? Ya sure it's not
ideal and there are days where I can feel the rhythm
of the beats throbbing in my head. However, lately
I've tried to acknowledge my abnormal rapid heart
rate as a reminder that it's not giving up, and neither
should I. I'd like to think my heart is saying, " hey
you, I'm still beating, I'm doing my part to keep you
alive, so don't ever forget that and you do your job
of actually living this life " . Don't let a bad day trick
you into thinking you have a bad life. Life gives us
curveballs, but only the strong are able to " catch " /
receive these curveballs. Stay strong, stay positive everything (for the most part) is mental. The official
definition of " willingness " is, " the quality or state
of being prepared to do something; readiness " ... so
the way I've interpreted this, willingness is a way to
approach certain circumstances in life and really
approach life in general in a new way, a new light, a
new mindset; ultimately, a new perspective. Every-


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Elephants And Tea - March 2021

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Elephants And Tea - March 2021

Contents
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Elephants And Tea - March 2021 - 1
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